experimenting with photoshop

took the above photo two and a half years ago in florence, italy. was sorting out photos from the trip, shortlisting the minority that would eventually feature in the photobook (i've been tasked by mummy to work on), and would definitely have scrapped this photo in its original form.

inspired by the myriad of tumblr-like inspirational / nostalgic / vintage photos out there, i attempted a shot at adjusting the curves and exposure of this photo in photoshop, and was rather pleased with the effect! if only i were good enough at photography as a profession, i could really see myself beautifying photos for a living. ordinary photos could be made to tell stories, and even soothe someone's feelings!

On Reminiscing

As I tossed and turned in bed last night trying to get to sleep,  I had a very strange feeling. I imagined myself back as a jc student, preparing to sleep to wake up to a new day at school. It seemed so plausible, and in that moment it's almost possible to forget the fact that so many years have passed. I could picture myself waking up, washing up,  putting my school uniform on and getting ready for school. It made me ponder about how the length of experiences in life are all a matter of how our mind perceives them. If I suffered amnesia,  I could easily believe I was still indeed a 17 year-old student.

Many inspirational self-help articles often teach us not to dwell on the past or live in the future,  but I feel that reminiscing the past is important. I realized it's something I did a lot in the past but hardly think of anymore. I've become too preoccupied with troubles of the present,  and a little numb to the passing of time. Is that what people feel after they've been working for a few years? Grasping onto nostalgia may make one feel a little empty about the time gone by, but it also reminds ourselves about how much things have changed our how some people may have left our lives. And from these changes,  the lessons we have learnt. Reminiscing also reminds me to be thankful for all the good memories that I have been so privileged to have experienced. 

I read this meaningful article,  and really liked and agreed with this quote -

"In the end, loving your life is about trusting your intuition, taking chances, losing and finding happiness, cherishing the memories, and learning through experience. It’s a long-term journey. You have to stop worrying, wondering, and doubting every step of the way. Laugh at the confusion, live consciously in the moment, and enjoy your life as it unfolds. You might not end up exactly where you intended to go, but you will eventually arrive precisely where you need to be."

our 25th birthday

So 2013 has come and gone. It's now the 6th day of 2014 and apart from a less than motivating start to yet another career year, my personal life has been pretty fulfilling! In a bid to start the new year on the right foot (pun intended), I went for a 4km jog with zk at west coast park right on the morning of new year's day. The usual me would NEVER yank myself out of bed, away from the precious sleep-till-you-wake-up sleep that is only possible 2 meagre days a week and on the 11 generous days of public holidays singapore has given its workforce. But I was feeling really down from work. I didn't like the disgruntled state I was in; I wanted to get back to being the positive person I was, who would not get affected (for too long) by things out of my control. This time I could not help but brood for far too long. I don't think it's healthy because I imagine literally a weight taking a toll on my heart which is already working so hard every second of the day. That's really how I view stress - as physically harmful as smoking or drinking. I wanted to do something to break myself out from that state of self-pity, frustration and helplessness. What better way to do so than to engage in a healthy activity that would make me proud of myself (and make zk happy too)?

And so I digressed.

The point of this entry was actually to capture precious memories of our 25th birthday. I just wanted to thank and remember the sweet people and their thoughtful gestures in trying to make me/us feel that wee bit more special :)

Much as I didn't exactly expect much form of celebrations this year apart from dinners with both immediate families and whatsapp greetings from the closer friends who'd remember, I was really touched when a few precious groups of friends actually made the effort to 'celebrate' my birthday in person. I guess these people know me well enough in that I don't want or need any gifts or a large expensive cake. These were all really ordinary gatherings but which ended with a simple slice of cake with a candle, carrying the warmth of the people who made me feel all touched and fuzzy inside.

To the people below, thank you....Thanks to those friends who remembered and sent birthday wishes across as well!

snooze

I woke up to find
my hand on the snooze button;
I had been snoozing
all these while, remaining
in a state of transient,
but deep enough sleep.
I fell back into the realm of my dreams quickly each time,
and through it getting glimpses of reality that didn't seem mine;
arms wide open, patiently waiting.

In a dream-like existence, it is easy to confuse
imagination vs. reality;
fiction vs. fact;
past vs. present;
memories vs. history;
rationality vs. intuition;
constant vs. change.

But the world goes by, even
as you are sleeping.
Waking up is difficult but go I must,
for now I know at last.
It is time to leave my castle in the sky
and watch this dream dissolve into dust.

being thankful for each new day

I can't help but feel uplifted each morning when I'm greeted by sights like these. I've always loved the golden warm glow of the morning sun, filtered through the morning mist into beautiful, gentle rays. No matter how bad the day before went, or how stressful today might be, mother nature just has a way to calm my spirits and make me feel that life is beautiful. 

peonies

I've always liked the sweet pastel hues of peonies, and their delicate multitude of layers. Attempted my first freehand watercolour painting of a bouquet of them, completed in less than ten minutes! I'm glad I had the courage to try something I'd envisioned my goal to be: abstract yet sufficiently-detailed, beautiful pieces of art that are calming to the mind. Of course this is nowhere near, but I'm happy I made my first step out into the uncertain, instead of always having to adhere to carefully-planned pencilled outlines and being afraid of making mistakes.

Set our spirits free!

sunrise in bintan

our little escape from reality

focusing on what matters

Today a close colleague of mine told me that she had just tendered her resignation. To be a full-time mum.

I felt really happy for her; I could imagine fully her sense of liberation and anticipation as she looks forward to spending quality time with her baby, especially during the crucial development phase as they start to learn and mould their character and moral values. She said she felt deeply inspired by a Caucasian she saw in Starbucks on a weekday afternoon - watching her baby and the world go by. What a tranquil and blessed feeling!

What surprised myself was that I actually felt envious of her situation -just having the courage to forsake the financial stability of having a job, to focus on what matters and makes one happy. I know that she will be truly happy and it's a beautiful scene in my mind, of her enjoying a cup of tea with baby in tow, and watching the world go by.

I somewhat know that when the time comes, and if our financial situation allows for it, I would be willing to do the same.

I don't know when it began, or how it did, but I've stopped trying to achieve. When not everything is within your control, sometimes it's better not to subject yourself to the stress of the rat race, but to take life slow, and smell the roses along the way.

learnt how to paint reflections and create texture (in the rocks!)