count my blessings, one by one

hmm i have no lessons today! its a really nice feeling :) and i slept at 12 plus last night! the earliest i've slept in so so long..i dunno if its the hall culture or simply uni life..but even at unearthly hours of 2 plus in the morning, i still see people walking about in the hall! hahaha..

hmm im trying hard to forgive but i still feel this tinge of anger whenever i think of the tuition father..i actually shouted at him over the phone la..he's the most cunning man i've ever known! first he doesnt wanna pay me for the extra hours he made me go for cos he says he doesnt have it in his records, second he wants me to give him special rates..like instead of 3 hrs at a fixed cost per hour, he wants me to charge sth like for only 2 and a half hours! when i was telling my daddy he was very angry and he brought up a very good point- that im not trying to make a business! going for 3 hrs instead of 2 hrs each time is really a chore for me cos i i hardly have time for a proper dinner and i really have lotsa school work and 1 hr does make a lot of difference especially im piaing my projects! and the stupid guy even made it seem like he was the one being compromised cos i din wanna give him the special rate! and i bet its cos of that he doesnt wanna pay me the extra hours i went for last month! hello its not as though im INVITING u to ask me to give more tuition..you're the one who requested for it and being the nice person i am, i obliged cos i knew you were worried about ur kids' exams even though i really had trouble juggling my own schoolwork oredy! and ytd over the phone he could even say, "aiya i'll just give it (the extra money) to you la, since you keep harping on it". HELLO! now it seems as though I'M the despo one BEGGING him for his money! wah i was freaking pissed when i heard it and i shouted back {"FORGET IT LA OK JUST FORGET IT!". i'm usually damn polite to him one..but ytd i really lost my cool and i just felt like punhcing him! especially after all my discoveries after talking to my daddy who can see almost immediately the cunning man was always trying to take advantage of me cos im young and probably dont really noe the runnings of this world which is true la. but now im much more wary and i've learnt my lesson that we have to draw an exctremely clear line when it comes to money matters..usually i'll be very paiseh to ask for tuition pay and i'll usually not say anything until he gives it to me by himself, but now i decided there's no point trying to save my face in front of ppl like that. at first i was still considering if i shd continue next yr..but now its a definite no..i cant bring myself to talk to someone as low down as him anymore! which is a relief for me la..cos tuition really tied me down a lot..every tues and fri i gotta travel all the way from boon lay to holland v..and my whole night is wasted cos i only end around 1030 and after that im too tired to do anything oredy..and in my already very busy life wif currently NO SOCIAL LIFE this is very significant! without the tuitions i could have spent weekends wif zk more productively instead of neglecting him while i did my work all the time! argh..all my sacrifice for his children and this is the treatment i get!

okok feels much better getting everything off my chest! updates on my life..i have no social life as wad i've said..cos of the relentless projects each week..but im so happy after ytd! when my major marketing proj, econs and stats tests were over!! so now i can start studying for my exams proper, and catching up on all my backlog tutorials! hahah i actually feel excited about it! i like studying! and this thurs im going rj wif yk to mug! yayyy im really really looking forward to it lor..i really really miss mugging in rj wif all my friends...and being able to meet other mugging people around the school too! hehe i sound muggerish!

i cant wait for exams to be over man..really...i have some plans!
1. go on holiday wif kimberly! hehe she was the only one who was still willing to go phuket wif me in the end lor! even if it was just zk, me and her! i think such friends/cousins are really rare..cos most ppl wouldnt wanna hang out wif a couple alone..to date i can only think of 3 ppl who are willing to hang out wif zk and me alone..namely vips & mavis (cos both of them are individually close to both of us! :)) and kimberly! hehehe
2. meet up a lot a lot wif kwa, engsin, binbin, steph and yz! wah i really haven seen them in like one month la! so longggggg :( really wanna see them!
3. go for zk's commissioning parade and ball! yayyyy we've been waiting for this day..just a bit more to go dear! boo you're in thailand now! but im gonna buy a calling card to call u! jingxiu says its much cheaper! :D den ur phone bill wont be so high anymore!
4. meet up wif 3m guys! ahh i really miss rj man! sigh don wanna think about it now..the nostalgia is killing me.
5. plan for somewhere nice to go for our birthday! last yr we couldnt spend it together cos i was on the other side of the earth haha..

hmm even though i've not much of a life now..im still really grateful for everything in my life now..apart from that tinge of regret which i know will take some time to go away..

firstly, im thankful for my wonderful parents..they're really the BEST parents in the world..doing everything for me so unconditionally..i really have a vey xing fu life cos of them..even though i sometimes get irritated cos daddy asks relentless questions, i know he's just genuinely concerned about my life..and sometimes he seems more concerned about zk's one than mine! haha! always asking me wad zk's doing in army..and always thinking for my best interests..from small things to giving tuition to bigger things about wad i should choose in my life..and mummy..taking care of even the TINIEST details that i later realise makes my life so complete! buying milk for me to put in my fridge..baking cheesecakes for me..washing my clothes for me..i feel like a princess la! i'll never ever be able to repay my parents one-tenth of wad they've done for me..i'm gonna earn enough to give them a comfortable life next time and i'll be a very very good daughter to them!

next, im grateful for zk..hope this wont sound too mushy..i feel so blessed..as though God was watching over me all the while...from someone i had a crush on..to someone i now love and who loves me back..i feel like the luckiest girl in the world! hehe..you're really the best..in how you never ever get angry wif me..and even when i throw my stupid tantrums you'll not blame me and just assume its ur fault! and how you never ever mind just staying by my side while i do my work the whole weekend..sorry sorry! i'll make it up to u after my exams ok! and i really admire you for your beautiful heart..how u never ever have any evil intentions..how u're genuinely nice to all ur friends, how u feel for them when they're in a worse situation than u..and how u always think so well of all of them! always praising them to the skies..hehehe..and for how u're a filial son in always listening to ur parents..(though u always bully ur sister and make her give u massages!)..thank you dear..for being the best boyfriend in the world..

im really glad that both our parents are so receptive towards our relationship..how staying over at each other's house has become so natural..sometimes even instigated by our parents! hehe..

next i'm happy for having the close friends i have...even though we're all busy now, im glad we still keep in touch thru msn..we must must meet up after exams..and mug together for exams ok! to engsin they all we must mug at JE again ok!! hehehehe babu!! for kwa, steph, enghui, binbin, yz, mavis, vips, yk especially..thank for being there for me all the time :) love u guys..

i'm also blessed to have such nice friends in uni! hehe the girls have formed a group called the berries! and more and more classmates are joining! i think its really cool that kezia and weilin live above me den we can always go find each other and go for lessons together! wif adeline, van and pris who live in the hall beside us! hehe.. i think my classmates are really nice :)

and for jingxiu! hehe u make me actually look forward to going back to hall after lessons..u're really a great roomie :D but we really shouldnt talk so much! hahaha

all in all, i'm a happy girl! just need to have more time outside of school! ok i've wasted so much time blogging..but i feel much better now! i shall go do my stats oredy!

hmm

i feel happy with the wonderful blessings i have in my life now, but i'm not happy with where my life is taking me to..

it's like a void in my heart that can never be filled

i missed my chance, and i'll never get it back again

i just hope this sense of regret won't continue to overwhelm me later on in my career

i miss my past so much..i hate this feeling of nostalgia..it makes me feel so helpless and desperate and empty! i wanna climb mountains with odac all over again, i wanna play chapteh with 3m, i wanna mug together for the A levels with all my good friends till late in school...

argh i don wanna wander on aimlessly anymore!! but i dont seem to have a choice..

boohoohoo im supposed to be piaing my never ending list of homework..but i need to relieve some stress so here i am!

here are the photos of our gathering back at rj..those were the times man..


haha! us acting cute! omg im failing terribly



yh and zit playing indian wrestling! i cant seem to change the orientation of the photo :x



our cool group shot



mrs yeo came!!! :D



haha yk looking glam as usual



small boy



playing asshole daidee



i like this photo! at ri astro field



check out the mountain tortoises getting a feel of the "grass" at the astro field



wad is vips doing

huahua flew off oredy! :( hope u're having a good time at cambridge dear! :))


something happened which made me feel happy in a strange way but it could be me thinking too much haha

so happy zk could book out ytd! he said cos his officers were in a good mood! and the reason is damn cute la..cos one of them just had a son and the other's wife just got preganant! hahaha the power of children...so he came to crash my tuition! and kieran was in an unusually good and smiley mood, but kimberly seemed a bit more restrained hahaha...luckily their parents din mind his presence...den i went to stay over! even though its just for a few hrs only cos we had to wake up at 4.30 for him to book in..but it really provided a wonderful respite from my stress from all my school work!! :s the walk to his house at night is TRAUMATISING. there're like thousands of cockroaches! ok im exaggerating..but like every 5-10m i'll see one! i almost din dare to walk!!

ahh okok i shall go back to scrutinizing salvador dali paintings and coming up wif ideas on how managers should encourage their employees to share their knowledge and learn collectively to fill up 12 A4 pages yes that's so exciting man! :x

haissss such a nice day today...all of us back at rj again..playing sports and games together as a class...AHH NOW I MISS JC EVEN MORE... :'( really..i hate this nostalgia man...i love my classmates...

and i concluded that no matter how many groups i may play mafia/murderer with, i'll never get as much fun and excitement out of it as when i play wif 3m...everyone's so nice and mostly on the same frequency as one another..

pictures another time!!

damn stressed now la dunno how im gonna survive this hols..

i really dowan my friends to leave...i hate this holidays!! :'(
i just realised its 7 of them not 4

i feel so helpless

yayy after my debate (they call it article arena goodness haha) ended today, i felt damn relieved! as though the hols are here oredy..cos i only got 3 more lectures before recess week! so i consider today the start of my hols oredy!

hmm but i also don want the hols to come..cos it'll mean 4 of my friends are flying overseas..i've never really experienced a very close friend go away yet..but this time i guess i will..i know the departure dates are imminent..but somehow it hasnt really struck me that it'll be a while before i can see people like vips and yunhua again..i'll really miss them..or maybe i'm just avoiding it, running away from it..not letting myself really think about it..lowly and chieh are also flying off..hmm i dont see them that often now but there's this old friend bond that will always remain between us :)

i hope i dont cry when i see them off

but ultimately, everyone has his or her own goals and dreams to pursue..and i really hope all 4 of them will have a good time overseas..remember to send me pics time and again hor! especially of you and nice scenery pictures from over there!! :) take care, my friends!!

sheila's coming to crash my lecture tmr! :DDD

and jingxiu is gonna be my new roomie! :)) our hall offices approved oredy :)

school is stressful. im so so glad im done with my 3 presentations for the week.

Anyway

People are often unreasonable,

illogical and self-centered;

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind,

People may accuse youof selfish, ulterior motives;

Be Kind anyway.

If you are successful,

you will win some false friends andsome true enemies;

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and sincere,

People may deceive you;

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building,

someone could destroy overnight;

Build anyway

If you find serenity and happiness,

they may be jealous;

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today,

people will often forget tomorrow;

Do good anyway.

Give the world the best you have,

and it may never be enough;

Give the world the best you've got anyway.

You see, in the final analysis,

it is between you and God;

It is never between you and them anyway.

-Mother Teresa hung a copy of this poem on a wall of the orphanage she founded in Calcutta. Its source is unknown.

found this poem really beautiful..think it teaches us to live life with no regrets..but often enough..its so easy to forget such words of wisdom..when frustration and anger carry us away..disappointment and resentment blind us momentarily from previous good deeds of people..sigh..its difficult to be detached from your emotions when you get disappointed over and over again..but i guess in the end, you just learn to let go, to not let it bother you anymore..

forgive anyway.

rather stressed right now..3 presentations and one test next week..but i know they'll all be over soon..just hope we'll do a good job! i shall be productive from now on! and stop going onto my bed to study! yes!

this is just gonna be a reply to vips/vipsiecandy's (haha! dont you just love the name! :p) blog..cos you removed ur tagboard! out of ur whole purpose of going PRIVATE which u later decided was not all that necessary?? stupid lor! yesyes meet meet meet...hmm this weekend im not that free cos i have a marketing presentation and econs test and econs tutorial and stats tutorial due on monday (DIE) but i really wanna meet you and yk and mavis!! if you dont mind can come to zk's house?? den you all can entertain yourselves wif the playstation while i diligently do my homework at the back! hehehe...and bout ur clothes shopping, there's a damn cheap clothes store around his neighbourhood near the clementi mrt there if u're going low-budget (haha!)..like one pair of pants $6?? hahaha...

and zk's probably only free on sundays now..he's back at his engineer training institute which likes to confine ppl...so i dont expect to see him much either..sundays only??

okieokie i shall go back to being hardworking!

I HAVE A STRONG FEELING MY FRIENDS ARE GONNA KILL ME

haha here are the pictures i wanted to post! :p

yk and vips TRYING to be scary!

our graceful ballet :p

HEHE SO CUTE RIGHTTT!! :D (yk dont kill me!)

playing risk. yk takes on an ultra-glam pose in a bid to showcase her raibow-coloured socks

2 new additions!

anyi's army

classic photo

haha zk and i were supposed to jump upwards but anyi knew our plans and so he conspired wif liow to jump upwards too! but luckily we were smart and jumped sidewards instead haha!

CAMEL!!!!!!

badminton at jurong west sports & recreation centre!

resorting to playing chapteh after our court got taken over. yuensau looks like professor quirrel!
the end!

im blogging from my hostel room now! wanted to take pics and upload it here but haven got a chance to bring my camera here yet cos i keep forgetting to charge the battery..school's been nice so far..though stressful..with a pile of homework even in the first week of school! but im really thankful the new people around me are nice...especially my OG in my hall...and my tutorial mates! i never really talk to the guys in my class, but all the girls are nice and simple :)))

i just hope hall life wont take up too much of my time cos i'll always feel obliged to turn up for gatherings and all..so far its ok..i guess the enthusiasm will die away after a while too..like the OGs in jc...but the lounge is a really nice place to meet up!! and im damn lucky...10 out of 17 ppl in my OG are staying in my block! :D and a lot of my tutorial girls too..its really great cos we can all meet up and go for lessons together...

hmmm ppl like vips and huahua are gonna go overseas soon...gonna miss them! haven seen huahua in a long time! must have farewell party ok!! and vips is really one of the best friends to have..i think if he didnt take the initiative to organise all the numerous outings that we had, we'd probably see so little of each other! and i really appreciate the way he doesnt mind hanging out alone with zk and me..it shows that he likes us individually as friends! (haha vips you better not say i'm wrong!) i'll really miss your presence when u go :((

oh ya i wanna upload pics of my badminton outing too! and risk at rj! but lazy to transfer the pics so another time! i need to go study my econs and do my stats tutorial oredy!

and to binbin: dont be stressed oredy you'll always have me around :)
haha this is so ironic cos you're just 1.5m behind me :p

ODACIA 2007

hall camp's over! had fun on the whole..but towards the end i found it difficult to open my eyes oredy haha very dry! i like my group..we're not the enthu, noisy, damn on kinda group..all of us are the kind who'll take quite long to warm up to one another..so it was only towards the end that guys and girls stopped sticking to their own gender and we could talk and joke comfortably among ourselves, and play games when we were not too tired! i hope we'll have OG outings! :)


poor binbin injured her big toe halfway during the camp so she had to go home..it looked so painful lor the bottom of her nail got blood..cos the nail kena jabbed inside! den now its all bandaged..hope it gets well soon! :)


went for odacia last night...felt really really nice to see everyone again..wad i love most about odacians is that everyone's damn nice..and you'll feel safe in their company cos everyone will take care of one another..guess its a quality we developed through going on our numerous expeditions, kayaking, rock climbing..having to look out for one another..really hope that we'll continue to go back for odacia year after year..and see how everyone has moved on with life! like becoming successful in their careers, getting married, having children! so cool right! I LOVE ODAC BATCH 21 :DDD


some photos!

batch 21 :))

yanzhen and charlene!

cute shuting and TALL jason (ahem!)

I LOVE THIS PHOTO!! eating roti prata at upper thomson..with everyone's head popped into the picture! :)))