Sunset at West Coast Park

all of you should to west coast park in the evenings...its really really beautiful...go there around 6 plus and just admire the sky till the sun sets totally..i never knew singapore skies could be so pretty and picturesque..the park is such a nice place to be at..u see parents bringing their kids and having fun at the huge and creative playgrounds..there're just so many heartwarming family activities going on..plus there's a dog park right at the end specially for dog owners to bring their dogs there to meet and interact with other dogs! so cute right..the scenery u can get is a plus point on its own oredy..(haha i sound like im part of the national parks board promoting wcp or something haha!) nway ya..the pictures above speak for themselves..YOU SHOULD ALL GO AND EXPERIENCE FOR YOURSELVES :D

nway im finally into my slacking week..its only my first day and i've been slacking since i woke up! chatting wif liow on msn and uploading pics from my cam...nothing which i had planned to do at all during this week! i was supposed to spend this week clearing my sec sch, a level stuff (which is an EXTREMELY painful and difficult task :( ), writing my essays (though i haven decided wad scholarships im going to apply for nway and i seriously need help wif them), EXERCISEEE (ahh i've been giving myself too many excuses to put off any form of exercise! and i really can feel my du4 nan2 growing!!)..ya that's about it...

heard results coming out this fri..i still dread the day for the same reason as before..but nvm..i shall be detached and unemotional!

haha! omg guess who this is!

hmm are we supposed to continue drifting on like this? not knowing where it may take us to, or how different our paths may turn out to be in e end..where will be then? just 3 years on..i dunno wad to expect anymore..

that aside, i hope i'm independent enough to survive this one week! cant even msg or talk to u ay all! :( but i'll be thinking of you and cheering you on in my heart..you can do it one! :) hmm i'm really really glad i'm getting more and more independent leh! perhaps its cos i can occupy my time wif work during the day..den after work i always do things i enjoy! which make me feel happy! like going to xiaogui's house, giving tuition, meeting up wif friends for dinner, or simply being a couch potato at home and watching tv from 7 to 10! den after that one of the biggest thoughts in my mind would be to go and sleep early! cos if not sure cannot wake up the next day den i'd wish i din have to go to work! haha

just had reunion dinner just now...felt quite happy..i like all these family gatherings..i tot i'd drifted away from my cousins a lot but in e end still can talk quite comfortably..den felt quite happy to help them scoop the ingredients onto their plates cos they were lazy to! i think it feels quite nice to be able to take care of the ppl around you..then i was thinking how nice it'd be if i had a younger sibling...hmmm

ahh channel 8 just showed a special edition of how my zui gao dian show was shot! so nicee..

going for ntu open house tmr wif bin, xiaogui and clara they all! shall go sit in for as many talks as possible to let myself see wad options are actually available and stop being lazy and hiding in my hermit crab shell and not be willing to venture into some unfamiliar course..like now i totally dunno wad ppl study if they go into chemistry, physics..engineering, accountancy etc..shall go find out tmr! feel so hardworking muahaha...

haha i was just looking online for meaningful quotes and here are a few which i think are rather true... and awakens our senses..hmm but i tend to forget easily all these seemingly common-sensical yet damn wise life lessons..guess all these people experienced life more and thought about these experiences and phrased their thoughts in single, accurate quotes in an attempt to capture the essence of their new-found wisdom and insight, in a bid to teach others what they learnt, probably over a long period of time and contemplation..so i feel quotes are really not cliche or without purpose! ya i was just quite touched by some of them..and i pasted them here...

Three grand essentials to happiness in this life are something to do, something to love, and something to hope for

-Addison

If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is a part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us.

-Hermann Hesse

If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can't buy.

Anger is never without a reason but seldom a good one.
-Benjamin Franklin

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some people move our souls to dance. They awaken us to new understanding with the passing whisper of their wisdom. Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon. They stay in our lives for awhile, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never ever the same.
-Flavia Weedn

The best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other
-Dalai Lama

(oh the next two apply to both friendships and relationships i guess...)
If you love someone tell them because hearts are often broken with words unspoken.

Because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.

Life is an art work without an eraser.

Success is getting and achieving what you want. Happiness is wanting and being content with what you get.
-Bernard Meltzer

For every minute you're angry, you lose sixty seconds of happiness



And finally..i think this last one is really beautiful.... :)

Happiness is to see the world in a grain of sand, and Heaven in a wild flower, to hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in a single hour ~William Blake

hmm im working now..not exactly the most exciting job but still better than having nothing to do at home when all my friends are working! actually there're things to do la..just that really no mood and motivation..although i was reading the Today newspaper and there was this article on how to be efficient..and they advised, always make a list of what you have to do and start with the most difficult one..then you'll feel motivated after completing it and can enjoy the rest of your work without that daunting task weighing on your mind anymore! actually i guess everyone knows this theory naturally..but when faced with a list of things to do, its just tempting to start off with the easiest ones! so you feel you're being more efficient if you get more jobs, though easy ones, done within a short time!

haha so much for crapping..i dont think i'll get down to all those i'm supposed to do anyway..like clearing my sec sch n jc notes..not all of them of cos..writing my personal statement? though i really have no idea cos i have totally no experience in writing any of this type of essays...haiss...i'll do it when i find the motivation lar..i believe it'll come!

just went to enghui's house today..i always feel so comfortable and happy there..cos her mum's so friendly! so nice they helped me tape my two episodes of the 9 oclock show which i missed cos of tuition..and her dad even gave me a lift home..feel so bad la...thank you xiaogui!!

oh ya speaking of tuition, i think its really meaningful and fun..but stressful at the same time..cos i wanna make sure wadever i do with my students is effective..and not just wasting everyone's time and their parents' money..budden its my first time..so by the end of each lesson i realise so many things i should have done differently..im just trying my best to improve..2 of them are siblings..the brother's p4 n the sis is p5..both will grow up to be shuaige meinu lor! haha! the brother's more intelligent in a way but he's lazier and more careless..the sister is quiet and hardworking but learns at a slower pace la..but i think im quite lucky to have gotten both of them...the parents are very nice and understanding too..haha and i took a picture using my phone of both of them la..but the boy's a bit more shy bout taking photos..but later when i said u take urself using my phone la he said ok readily and even went in front of the mirror to take it so that he can see whether his face fits into the screen! so cute right! hehe...

hmm results are coming out soon..and i dread that day..cos i don wanna go back to school! cos i noe i'll be overwhelmed by all my emotions of nostalgia..i really miss school a lot..i noe im being stupid by wallowing in all this sadness now since everyone tells me that the only thing i can do is to move on and keep all these happy memories in my heart..but i really cant help it..i never thought i'd miss rj so much..i don exactly feel bonded to the name r.affles but more to the places we used to hang out there and the memories created there..there're simply too many of them...all the chapteh we played in between lessons, after school..joking around wif ms v.eera, mrs yeo, ms wu, mr ng, mr lee..even asha..all the maths lessons where she'll call us to go up and write our answers on the board..den having to check our own tutorials against all these answers..i miss the routineness of everything! of going for lessons as a class, to those familiar classrooms each day..following a strict timetable but not so strict lifestyle..i kinda like having everything planned out for me like that..this way i wont have to make the decisions and bear the consequences so heavily..like wad i'm gonna have to do now...ya..so everytime i think about the results coming out i just get a sinking feeling cos i noe im gonna feel sad stepping into the all-so-familiar compound all over again..

oh and thankew yk for the very sweet handmade keychain and earrings! even my mummy was impressed lor..den she thought u went for formal lessons to learn how to make them! arent you honoured?!?!

and liow! so thankful i have you to accompany me the whole day thru my work even though we're like dunno how far away..haha im very amused lor..we find the most excessive ways of communicating with each other! exhausting all means possible! but very fun! but i feel so scared and guilty cos i scared the sec catches me typing to you! but i think she already noes la hehe! and u better await the fabulous, surprising and UNIQUE (our word of the day!) cake/wadever we're gonna bake for u two! hehe..but don expect too much hor we're damn lousy one...

hmmm i miss you very muchhhh jiayou ok!!! :)

ahhh i cant wait to start working! i need to keep myself occupied if not im gonna die of boredom..everyone else is busy working i feel like this lazy good-for-nothing who has absolutely NOTHING to do! :(

i guess i have to learn to be more independent..i always thought it was a good trait to have but never really realised its importance up till now..

i think being helpless is the most helpless feeling and is perhaps on par with the feeling of regret..both horrible feelings to have! but the fact that you're helpless shows there's nothing you can do about something or feeling a certain way so i guess we just have to move on..

i knew exactly how i'd be feeling but there was nothing i could do to avoid feeling that way and i think its loserish and stupid and wimpy..why cant i just be a little more independent???

i hope i get used to it soon...

shall take my first step for the sake of my future (which everyone has started on so long ago) and write my CV!

faster come back!! :(

in reply to all the tags...

wenyan! sorry i haven gone to visit you yet! i went to orchard today to meet my friends but i din have time to go find u! are u still working there anyway?!?! bet lazy and unmotivated you quit oredy! haha! haven seen u since prom..how are you doing now? i feel so slack when "hardworking" people like you are working haha..

to vipul and mavis, dont mention! it was just my way of saying thanks for the wonderful friendship you have given me.. :)

to liow, enjoy the work which u hate now! muahaha! :p

anyway, america was not bad..i dunno whether i truly enjoyed myself..because i dunno how to define it either..as in i din feel especially happy or laughed a lot during the trip but i was aware constantly of how lucky and blessed i was to be able to go on such a holiday..i took lotsa lotsa pictures of the beautiful scenery, which was what i was looking forward to..just for keepsake and for me to try and relive those moments when i look back on the photographs next time..but perhaps i was indulged too much in snapping all these moments that i didnt exactly get the time to stay still and enjoy the moment, the scenery as it was..we kept moving on and on and i guess the adults werent that interested to sit by the beach and look out at the sea for hours...

we visited san francisco, monterey, oregon and portland..all relatively close to each other..and most of them had beautiful scenic spots that i wouldnt mind going back to admire again...but this holiday made me even more sure of not wanting to apply to an overseas university..i felt so cut off from the rest of the world..and you lose track of what's happening back at home..even if something happens you wont be able to be there in time as well..so, i shall just study in singapore!

christmas there was really nice..we spent two nights in my uncle's parents house..they're from oregon..and the christmas spirit there is so wonderful! they have so so much decorations all around the house, and on christmas eve one of their friends dressed up as santa claus and visited! and gave me a snowy white santa teddy too! i really enjoyed christmas there..something you'll always read about it books but never really get to experience back in singapore..

i also saw snow for the first time..the lack of sunlight did make the place feel a little gloomy, but the snowy-linen land had a kind of tranquility to it, those i can only admire in christmas cards..so as usual, i took lotsa photos of it haha..

thanks to all of you who remembered my birthday too! :)
it felt a little weird this year..i was confused when my birthday actually was, cos of the time difference..america's 16 hours behind singapore..so i din really feel it was my birthday at all..and i kinda forgot about it until i received smses..maybe i've aged to the stage where you feel ur birthday is not important anymore?? haha...

its the new year already..so fast right...i passed by nj on the bus just now..and i saw students in all their different sec school uniforms..i was filled with so much nostalgia and cliched as it sounds, memories of my life in jc just flooded my mind..i used to be one of them just 2 years ago..feeling lost, unaware and vulnerable in a new environment, yet at the same time excited and anticipating what's to come..i thought of orientation which i have bittersweet recollections of, all lessons we had together as a class, all the lame stuff we did during the lessons, especially bio..all the chapteh we played especially and odac..and so so so much more! it seemed like it was just yesterday i was a newbie in school and now, i'm already past A levels and feeling lost all over again over what to do with my life..i miss school...

i made my new year resolution like i always do at the beginning of each year, and like all previous years, i seek to be a better person..i guess as i grow older, i start to understand myself more, and i can point out more specific flaws of myself..so i shall work on getting rid of them as much as i can!

i hope it'll be a happy and memorable year for everyone, and im thankful for all that 2006 has given me.. :)

thank you all so much.....

haha i'll be going for my odac trip later tonite oredy! but i haven started packing yet! aiya but think there's nothing much to bring too right...hope it'll be fun! :)

anyway, i really wanna thank vipul and mavis for the celebration last night...i was really very touched...and glad to have such great friends like you two...it must have taken so much effort and trouble to organise everything and get the class together..i just feel that i dont deserve such trouble from you guys...thanks for the water bottle n shirt too...

i must say that was one of my best birthday celebrations ever..haha the first surprise celebration i ever had! even though my birthday is still like 14 days away!! hahaha...i cant express enough my gratitude and touchedness really...thanks again..to everyone who came too...clara, jorina, zit, michelle, mingwei, yihan, keyi, yuensau, david&amy....

and of course, my beloved tyz n steph too! hehe i really thought it was coincidental that u two went there too la! thanks for coming down all the way k....to ouou, ur present was really very sweet lor i like it a lot a lot a lot! i still dunno how u managed to rush it out in such a short time..and to liowliow! haha thanks for ur bag!! plus ur HALF-EATEN hello panda! i just finished it today! muahaha....

murderer was fun, but stressful! i was never chosen to be the murderer, thankfully..if not i'll just die of the stress...but i dunno i kept being accused of being the murderer! it was so tiring to keep having to defend my innocent self! haha poor zit kept being accused too...who ask u keep smiling to urself for NO REASON! haha!

i really love our class...im really gonna miss all of you....haiz.. :'(

hmmm a levels are finally over...but i dont feel as happy as i thought i would be...i noe this sounds damn mugger, but i kinda miss having to study...today i was putting away all my stacks of paper ALL AROUND my room (not packing) n i was kinda overwhelmed wif nostalgia and some kind of sadness..its as though everything i've been doing for two years have all come to naught..what determined the general direction of my life so far has somehow disappeared so suddenly..it'll be stupid to go practise any form of tys or wadeva but it really seems now as though that this IS my life..haha shit i sound damn bookwormish now la..

i couldnt bear to throw my rj stuff away so soon...so i started clearing the stack which had deprived me of my tabletop these two years..my ny notes and timetables and other stuff..i still kept half of that stack of course..but i tried my best to be heartless and just dump some of those notes and worksheets away..somehow looking through them reminded me of wad i used to do then..discussing those familiar questions wif friends, coming to school to copy..(mostly smarty kwa's one) hehe....

i cant decide if nostalgia is a nice or unpleasant feeling, really...

hmmm i dont even noe how im gonna spend my holidays...feel quite lost..dunno wad im gonna do in uni..or wad part time job im gonna do before that too...haiz...

nway, went to vivocity ytd wif kwa, bin and tyz! i dont think i'll ever want to go back there again! its damn crowded la! then the shops are mostly high-end ones..the only nice part is where u can go out and stand on this platform facing the sea and look at sentosa across the little sea...we went to shop for enghui's and liow's presents! i think all of us are lousy shoppers we walk a bit den we damn tired and thirsty oredy haha...we ended up going to ps after that cos vivo really too crowded..

poor enghui must be mugging hard at home now...jiayou ok dear! at 5 plus tmr u can see all of us oredy! and have a romantic night at my house!! :D i miss ya so much! haven seen u for a month oredy... :(

okie im looking forward to class chalet!! very near my house oso den my mummy asked me to go home and sleep haha...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENYAN!!

to vipul, in reply to ur post....

haha i think u're very funny! u had the dream since primary 5?!?!?! crazy...im already 17 plus yet i have no idea at all wad i wanna do! hmmm anyway, i think there's not much point thinking about choosing whether to hold on to ur dreams and let go of your relationships because of it or vice versa...cos i believe in the end, u'll never be able to, like what you said, sacrifice your family and friends...i cant imagine you doing something like that anyway..ya i guess it all boils down to your beliefs, as to which is more important to you and what your ultimate goal in life is..as a normal person, i guess i'll definitely regret it if i compromise my relationships with my family and friends just to pursue my dreams..and under my standards, you're a normal person who cares a lot for your friendships and stuff too..but you seem to convince yourself that you're not like that and your ultimate aim in life is to be some renouned physicist capable of uncovering some ground-shaking theory..so i dunno oso la! but i do believe that you'll be able to strike a balance..why should you follow the norm of 'geniuses'?? i think if u really do nothing else except focus on ur research and wadsoever, u'll lead a very sad life actually..as in u'll be a very lonely person...then at the end of the day you'll look back on all your findings, be proud of them, yet ashamed of them at the same time because you forsook everything else in your life too...i feel that what determines how happy and satisfied we'll be on our deathbeds is how much we know we have given to those around us who matter to us and how much we matter to them as well..

aiya i have no conclusion here but of course im more inclined towards my own point of view...i think you'll naturally decide as you go along..no point making such a final and cutting decision right now anyway right??? :) and thanks for trying to understand too...

to enghui,
dont dwell too much on it oredy k? i totally understand how u feel now...but really, time will heal all wounds and wash away the pain...u noe i feel really happy when your mummy sounds so happy to hear my voice?!?! hehehe...u can tell my wife i'll go visit her soon!!! and u better hide BEAR in a safe place! muahaha...yup you'll always have us to protect u dear! :D

lastly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENYAN!! just wanna say that i think u're a very mature person..knowing when to give ur opinions and when not to...(haha ok except when u start complaining about so-and-so! :p) but nway, u've been a really nice friend to talk to all these while...hope u'll stay happy always! :)