HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENYAN!!

to vipul, in reply to ur post....

haha i think u're very funny! u had the dream since primary 5?!?!?! crazy...im already 17 plus yet i have no idea at all wad i wanna do! hmmm anyway, i think there's not much point thinking about choosing whether to hold on to ur dreams and let go of your relationships because of it or vice versa...cos i believe in the end, u'll never be able to, like what you said, sacrifice your family and friends...i cant imagine you doing something like that anyway..ya i guess it all boils down to your beliefs, as to which is more important to you and what your ultimate goal in life is..as a normal person, i guess i'll definitely regret it if i compromise my relationships with my family and friends just to pursue my dreams..and under my standards, you're a normal person who cares a lot for your friendships and stuff too..but you seem to convince yourself that you're not like that and your ultimate aim in life is to be some renouned physicist capable of uncovering some ground-shaking theory..so i dunno oso la! but i do believe that you'll be able to strike a balance..why should you follow the norm of 'geniuses'?? i think if u really do nothing else except focus on ur research and wadsoever, u'll lead a very sad life actually..as in u'll be a very lonely person...then at the end of the day you'll look back on all your findings, be proud of them, yet ashamed of them at the same time because you forsook everything else in your life too...i feel that what determines how happy and satisfied we'll be on our deathbeds is how much we know we have given to those around us who matter to us and how much we matter to them as well..

aiya i have no conclusion here but of course im more inclined towards my own point of view...i think you'll naturally decide as you go along..no point making such a final and cutting decision right now anyway right??? :) and thanks for trying to understand too...

to enghui,
dont dwell too much on it oredy k? i totally understand how u feel now...but really, time will heal all wounds and wash away the pain...u noe i feel really happy when your mummy sounds so happy to hear my voice?!?! hehehe...u can tell my wife i'll go visit her soon!!! and u better hide BEAR in a safe place! muahaha...yup you'll always have us to protect u dear! :D

lastly,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY WENYAN!! just wanna say that i think u're a very mature person..knowing when to give ur opinions and when not to...(haha ok except when u start complaining about so-and-so! :p) but nway, u've been a really nice friend to talk to all these while...hope u'll stay happy always! :)

its amazing how we can walk past so many hundreds of people and think of them just as strangers, people whose lives are of no importance to us at all..that there are so many thousands, millions of these insignificant beings around us all the time..but to each of these persons, everyone else around them, including me, is part of that insignificant world outside..people they'd hardly take a glance at and just walk off and move on with their own, important and self-centred lives..in which we view ourselves as the central figure, of course, and everything else that happens is judged merely on how its gonna affect our selfish lives ultimately...its complex how in a world where everyone seems so small, each and every one of these small beings has such a big big life they feel is much bigger than the much big big bigger world they live in..

hmmm ok maybe its not like that for everyone..i believe there are truly those beautiful, selfless souls out there..but i havent come across any in my life personally, yet...haha maybe when i meet such a person i'll be too overwhelmed by his or her goodness that i'll faint on the spot! haha ok i'm talking nonsense oredy..i dont really have a point to make but i was just thinking whether it is possible for someone to be truly selfless and always placing the needs and happiness of others before his or her own..if i were like that, i guess my whole mindset on life and all my actions would change drastically..cos i noe im still a selfish person after all...haiz...

but i think life will be much easier if we were all selfless people..(but then again much easier for US and OURSELVES again!)..cos if we didnt care so much about ourselves, our own needs and our own feelings all the time, we'd be much better able to let go of so many things..both losses and gains..nothing meant for selfish desires would mean so much to us anymore..and everything in our lives would revolve purely around love, compassion, kindness and sweetness! how nice that would be..... :)

i think i feel sad very easily...my mood gets affected very easily..though the sadness doesnt usually last for very long..but that means im selfish cos i care about my own feelings too much that's why i feel sad!

i'm always extremely heartened when i see people do good deeds out of their pure goodness..and obviously not seeking any recognition or form of thanks in return..people like bella! i dont think she reads my blog though...but nway, i think lala is such a person..she doesnt help by doing big big things which the whole world can see, but she helps in small ways which can often go unappreciated cos she's so cool (acting as usual stupid cucumber! :p) as always that she doesnt make it seem like she helped you..like when i told her i wanted to go over to her house to borrow her solubility equilibria notes to photocopy during march holidays, but didnt in the end, she passed a photocopied set of notes to me when school reopened! when she didnt have to! so kind of her right! and asking if i wanted the set of remedial questions for physics which she could take for me from ms wu and then responsibly passing them to me after that when she didnt have to as well..it seems such a small and easy thing to do, but when you think about it, not many will even have this kind intention in the first place..haha i hope her hair doesnt stand if she ever reads this...if not i'll have to dig a hole in the ground and bury myself there forever.. :p


it seems like so much has happened...im so scared that im a changed person..i may not seem so on the outside but i think i have changed inside..my thoughts, priorities..that i think im gonna be a one-dimensional person soon..always thinking the same, one-dimensional thoughts all the time..i feel im getting lazy to think nowadays...

haha this sounds like such a sad post again..
but im happy and thankful for what my life has brought to me.. :)