haha i haven't blogged in ages, i wonder if anyone still bothers to visit this abandoned space. -blows dust-
got introduced to this song recently by zk. well, i've heard of it before, but it's the kind of song which you find familiar and can hum along to, but never really knew its singer, title or lyrics. it drove me to write this post because it got me all pensive again. i must say it's been a while since i last really immersed in my thoughts and got in touch with my emotions; it's a really heartwarming feeling..
these days, i get a little too caught up with the present. i'm not the kind who worries incessantly about the future or finds faults with the present, but i used to reminisce so much more than i do today (if i even do at all). reminiscing makes me feel human all over again because it paints a new coat of colours to faded, dumbed-down memories, invokes emotions into me, and reminds me of the life-embracing person i once was. it makes me recall how simple life was before and could still be now, how my emotions were so easily brought to a high by the smallest of events- knee-knocking trick i used to play on my friends in ny, chapteh in jc, an sms from zk back in jc...i don't know if it's true for others, but reminiscing makes all troubles in the present seem all the more trivial, because when you look back, you probably only recall the sweet and positive memories 90% of the time.
i must admit my emotions have been as lifeless as a graveyard in recent years- never too happy, or never too sad (apart from when i argue with zk). if i were to find a reason for this change, i would think it's just a way of protecting myself; while i am probably less inclined to feeling hurt or disappointed, i don't get truly, deeply happy too...
is it a worthwhile trade-off?
i think the fact that i haven't been blogging shows how much i've been really thinking, not academically or intellectually as i strive to improve myself at my job, but spiritually. it's not that i've been lazy, i just had NOTHING to write about; no new ideas, reflections, thoughts, emotions, inspiration, happenings..many a time i attempt to start a blog entry just to get the creative juices flowing, but i give up after a sentence or two. i think i'm not opening my heart enough to experience what there is to life...in the past when i first started this blog in jc and basically rambled on about how happy i was to meet up with my friends, how guilty i was for not mugging, it seems so trivial and childish looking back now, but i miss how my emotions were driven by such simple events. is this all part of growing up?
anyway, back to the point of why i wanted to share this song. i think i haven't heard a song like this in a while- so heartfelt and genuine. its lyrics depict an idealistic way of love, but which is so simple and achievable. i can't explain why it caused me to start reminiscing on past events again, but it did make me feel somewhat sad too. do i have this love so succinctly espoused in this song? is this love even possible if i'm the only one feeling excited about and looking forward to a future together?
