sadddddd

sobb i dread it! sadd..haiz nvmm shant think bout it anymore the more i think e sadder i get..i feel so abandoned

so glad can finally come online..couldnt even start up my comp for e dunno how many times le..then suddenly can..bet this'll be the last time lor...maybe shd go remove blubster from mi comp..but i dowan to lose all e songs i so painstakingly downloaded! dowan!

i hate being a qm! its so stressful..and its not that everyone else is extremely cooperative..and...ahh nvm shant complain..

stressful wk...gp graded essay on thurs..and pw stressing me out more! i really hate her! waste my time only..don even noe wad exactly she wants la! and i don have any ideas! hmm which task shall i do?? i prefer nature of cos..but new perspectives seem more realistic and practical..

my calendar pics soo nice..actually its a free uob calendar..every yr my daddy takes back some..then all v nice one lor..all on scenery..haiz i wanna go to all those places!!!!!so nice and peaceful and beautiful and free from everything else..free from this unnecessarily complicated world....

i want sb to tok to..actually i do have ppl to tok to.....but sometimes i feel its much easier to just bottle everything up inside..and save myself the trouble of explaining all my thoughts and feelings..

its so difficult to be the happy, crazy girl i used to be..cos everything else is getting complicated..or izzit just e way i see this world??? maybe its still as simple after all...

haha haven been blogging..lazy to and dunno wad to write bout too..thought i'd be repeating myself all over again and i'll start whining bout everything..so decided not to blog in the end..

eeeew! yucks! there's dis very very very irritating song on power 98! some drop my guitar then dunno wad..i hate songs where they keep repeating a same tuneless, irritating phrase over and over again! gold 90.5's still e best!! hehe nice oldies...

realized i can only do work in sch..hehe luckily there's yukit! and sometimes zhixian to stay back and do work wif me! cos at home i can only sleep, eat, watch tv or come online..there's no proper study table for me to do my work cos its all cluttered by messy and lazy me...so the only place i can do my work is on e bed! and i ALWAYS end up sleeping after 15 min..but still, i have yet to learn my lesson..hehe..don care la..must do work in comfort!slp then slp la..wont die rite??

that day crashed hc wif ouou..ahhhhh it was sooo nice lor..soo many ppl around..slacked in some students lounge there..and dawnieee came back!!hehe..and lala ran over from chinese high!!ahh so touched..aiya just saw so many ppl la..xiaogui, ang chieh, bamboo,mavis, toh yi, kitty, shy min and darling liow liow..and many moree.....hc's so niceee! but nvm..guess lidat once in a while go visit then will make me happier! and it'll definitely make my day too..and it'll make me appreciate all of them even moreee..

and jiayoujiayou bin and xiaogui for ur napfa k??? u can do itt! :))

supposed to come online to start on pw..but not surprisingly ive not done anything related to it since i've come online hehe...ahhhhh i need more motivation to do work!!!!!

yes i shd stop feeling sian and stop dreading sch...i nv used to dread sch! ohhh and odac! everyone's like so damn fit..compared to me la..lousy me..

oh! and happy bdae vincent and yvonne!!
shall end here la..

hmmm

haiz...i don understand how people can affect other people...we should just all be more mature..less calculative and life will be much easier and happier..

sigh im so sian now...i just cant seem to find anything to be enthusiastic about..and its making me very lost..cos i don seem to see any direction in life..i just live everyday as it passes..i don make plans, set goals or wadeva anymore..whyy?? im not enthusiastic about studying anymore too..i just study cos i have too..thats why i feel so sian..im not working towards anything at all..maybe i shd start setting goals and resolutions again...

enghui was telling me perhaps ive been used to always being enthusiastic bout things..now that there's nothing to be enthusiastic about, i feel sian and everything..then she said why not be happy that there's nothing to be sad about, and be contented with a peaceful, worry-free existence..ya..actually quite true la...but ive been living my life like that for so long..its really difficult to change my mindset..guess everyone has different expectations of life..i should learn to be more easily contented!!

count my blessings, one by one