yesterday was my last day of work and i really do miss my colleagues a lot, even though i didnt especially enjoy working with a few of them..they were really really sweet...all sportingly posing for pictures with me even though they all dont like taking photos..they wanted to treat me to lunch too but another colleague pulled me off and later when i came back the group which wanted to treat me scolded me for running off! haha actually i didnt forget but of cos it'll be damn paiseh to walk up to them and ask, "eh so we're going for lunch together right?" cos all of our doctors haven finished running their clinics yet so none of us had left yet..and it'd be damn thick-skinned of me to ask them cos obviously they were gonna treat me!

in the end they bought me these two cute cups!

some pictures with my colleagues!

at the counter

with the nurses! the one on the left very pretty right! she's already a mother of 2!

with beelan and laychoo- they very cute la must purposely put on this serious look when they're taking pictures! they're not so glum in real life!

Auntie Lai!

hmm i really dont mind going back to work leh..the only reason why i stopped was cos i din wanna be a loser (haha im not referring to u yk! :p) and work my whole holidays away...but i think im a loser now cos i got nothing to do at home! and another reason was cos i wanted to cherish not having to wake up early in the mornings before school starts..but i think i already got so used to everything in the clinic..my colleagues, the environment..my job scope..i think i've become very proficient as a Patient Services Clerk oredy lor! hehe..

anyway..on to other things..my appeal was unsuccessful..i didnt actually have much hopes la..its just the feeling of being rejected and feeling that im lousy all over again..i've long known i'd be contented with accountancy..cos i'd have more freedom in my life which is quite important to me cos i wanna go on a lot a lot of holidays to all the nice and romantic and memorable places...but i think its natural to feel sad...but i'm sure i'll get over it by today la! haha think my daddy like checks the website every hour or something! cos i was rudely awakened on my first day of not working by my mummy who told me about the news my daddy told her haha..but im really touched by how much my parents love me and care about me..my future..i used to get irritated that they kept pushing me to do things i was not sure i really wanted..but now i know they do it cos they really love me and want the best for me..like how my daddy kept taking it upon himself to draft my appeal message of just 300 characters..and what particularly touched me was that his ability to express himself succinctly in writing is not very good yet he kept writing and writing draft after draft, which i didnt really use n the end cos i still have to write these kind of things by myself ultimately wad..ya i really really appreciate my parents a lot..and my mummy is a really great source of assurance and support..she is always able to make everything seem like its ok...

i guess, whatever my future will bring me, i'll just take things one step at a time..after all, i'm more than lucky to be blessed with all the nice people in my life..my parents, relatives (esp kimmie!) friends and zk...shall stop harping on what i did not achieve but be contented with what i already have!

and some pictures of social night! made some interesting discoveries.... (hope they dont kill me! haha)

ahem ahem (haha!)

hmm i'm really really thankful to have you in my life dear..thanks for being so sweet and tolerant towards all my stupid little tantrums..i dont need you to specially feel a certain way or do things you usually wont do for my sake, cos it'll not be you anymore and you're perfect the way you are already..even though at my 'young' age now, academic setbacks and all seem to be the most major setbacks, i know that whatever path i may take, everything will be fine eventually as long as i have you in my life..love you!

on a sidenote, you can see i'm really bored to have posted such a long entry..but nvm, time is in my hands! haha! must go write down a list of things to busy myself with oredy..all those unemployed souls! go out with me! haha...

i really do believe that time is the healer of all wounds..after a while, everything goes back to its usual routine and we soon forget what had made us so upset and it becomes impossible to imagine how we could get so upset or disappointed over that certain something..but of course, healing requires one to have a shift in his or her own perspective, in order not to wallow in self-pity or depression or indignance..but its true that there's nothing too big for us to overcome..such that once its over we no longer really recall it and it'll seem as though we haven been through any setbacks in our lives cos once we've gotten over something, we will not call it a setback anymore!

anyway, back to happy things, zk's sister is really very sweet!! she went to msia and she bought two tops for me! i'm just really touched cos i din think she'd remember me on a holiday..and i really like them..they're not something i'd buy myself (haha in fact i dont even buy clothes for myself! all my clothes are bought by my mummy...so i guess her taste naturally became mine haha :p)..but they're the type i'm shy to buy for myself but will feel excited to wear cos they're stuff i dont usually wear!

here's a pic of them :) :)

And our beautiful artwork! :)

my uncertain future...

argh i can't stand my indecisiveness! i thought i'd already decided on something but it seems like it's so easy to block off all those original thoughts and take on a whole new perspective! haiss..i dont have much time left to deliberate anymore..i wish i was living in decades ago and i'll be contented by just being a housewife! :s

i'm really irritated with myself..i never seem to be able to come up with a choice and stick to it..and i'm guilty that i get irritated with my daddy for constantly pressuring me into doing things..i just wanna think at my own pace!

hmm the macritchie incident made me consider environmental engineering all over again..its just this naive thought that nature is punishing us for our sins, for exploiting and destroying the Earth..and environmental engineering is the first step i can take to saving the Earth! hmm..but i think i'll get bored working in a lab setting..and studying for 5 yrs...sth i may not even like..haiss i really dunno!

anyway, some pics of us at the tree-top walk at macritchie! i think we walked at least 10km lor! it took us 5km alone just to GET TO the tree-top walk which only lasted 200-300m! but the view was nice la..very serene and simple..and later we walked damn far to get out and we were all drenched in the rain! they should really consider building more shelters along the way! very dangerous lor..we could hear the siren but we can't do anything but keep walking until we find the nearest shelter, which is still damn far away!

and daddy's birthday on wednesday! :)