nice nice day..

whee i noe this is a little early..but HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENGHUI!!!! had such a nice time today..we din do much but i prefer this kinda outings! simple and meaningful..haha

and i've decided..im never gonna take a card neoprint again! it was my first time today and its such a traumatising experience! yuckks...hahaa all of u got tricked by the stupid offer! :p

and we shall go carolling during christmas!!!! hahahahah! oh my..it was so funny la..hearing the 3 of u trying ur best to sing while i bang on the piano..the funny part is how all of u were really singing properly but at the same time in that kind of funny, forced voice..haha damn fun la! it was so like the christmas season oredy...hahaaa next time must sing more!! yayyyy

and xiaogui's mum is sooo nice! (xiaogui if u read this ask ur mummy to read too! :p) thanks auntie!! hahaa don worry i'll marry u! hahaaa tyz can have oeh's bro..

such a happy day today..if only i could go back to ny..

haha flightplan is nice! and scary! haha more or exciting la..at least to me...stupid yk and tyz stop acting brave lor..i know u two were scared too! hahaa...but i like thrillers! they're the only kind of movie that's worth the money to watch them in the cinema..haha

nway shit i dunno why im getting sleepy so easily nowadays..it seems as though the more i sleep the sleepier i get..i keep dragging the odac handbook every nite cos i keep giving myself the excuse that im too sleepy to think! so i MUST do it by tonite and stop procrastinating! but its already nearly 1..haha shd i? but i'm sure i'll be too sleepy tmr..after odac pt and all..and think binbin's coming to stay over too..haha..so cant do tmr..

haha think my arms look flabby and white..yucks! like an obese chicken..sumhow being white makes one look fatter..haha..to yk, zhixian, zit and whoever who always tries to roll up my sleeves for me, i don roll them up cos i wanna cover up my flabby arms! :p hahahaaaaa

nway i hate awkward situations

and sorry im not very good at pacifying ppl especially if i don see a reason for them to get pissed at all..i don bother trying cos i'll seem damn fake..and it'll be hypocritical..so im sorry if i seem like i don bother at times..

shitshitshit im getting sleepy again! howhow!
ahh i'm gonna get elephant thighs after tmr... haha

and why u do seem different nowadays?
and do you even care?

nobody understands me..

sorry bout everything..it was so stupid of me to get upset over inconsequential stuff..i must learn to focus on the more beautiful essentials of life..

haha though i told myself not to think bout life oredy i still cant help it! nway, zhixian made me think..which is more important? to make sure u're happy just before u die by knowing that u have lead a life with as little regrets as possible, where most of ur life is dedicated to giving to others and forming meaningful relationships, and where material desires are less important..or to lead a comfortable, luxurious but materialistic life (where you are happy because of ur wealth), but come to regret such a focus in life during your dying days because you realize that your friends and family are actually the most important..yup so the question is whether it is more essential to feel good just before you die or feel good throughout ur life..hmmm if i analyse it this way it seems as though material wealth can give more happiness..but then again material wealth can only give happiness to some..i'm still glad i place more importance on relationships instead..

and yess! steamboat today was sooo nice...another memorable outing wif u guys.. :)))
though wasnt really worth my 10 bucks..but still i enjoyed myself! haha..just so nice to sit like that and eat la..so simple but fulfilling..and liow! hope you liked our presents! hehe..

ahh getting sleepy..though i really don understand why..din do much today..and i woke up at 11! hahaha slacked thru open hse..there really wasnt much for me to do anyway..and i slept again at tyz's hse! hahaha i think i tend to get sleepier when i slp more at nite! so maybe i shd slp less haha...and shit la..gotta wake up damn early tmr! ahhhh my nice sleep...

i think i should just keep stuff to myself from now on..

unless its a friendship problem, nothing else's worth talking about..and complaining bout stuff is just too whiny and tiring

i should just be a listener..there's no point talking bout my life or about life in general..the latter's too tiring and complex too..and there's never really an answer an anyway..

i shouldnt think too much bout life too i guess..it just confuses me..i should just try hard to think of only the happy stuff..and make it a habit to be in a good mood all the time..then i can make myself and others happy too! what for spoil others' moods with my own horrible mood..that's so selfish..

i should learn to be more easily contented..and count all the little blessings in my life..

i shouldnt get irritated or angry easily..its really tiring..even if i do, i shouldnt whine bout it as well..it doesnt really help matters..i must either forget about it or do something to change things..

now i dunno if tuesdays wif morrie was good for me after all..i guess i havent really settled on a fixed set of principles on the way i wanna lead my life..so i've been reading such stuff to teach me how..but sometimes they just confuse me cos i already have some idea how i wanna live..haiyahaiya...wadeva la..

i realized im far too pessimistic..things always turn out better than i expected..so i always worry for nothing! haiss

NWAY, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY MY DARLING LIOWLIOW!!!! may all ur wishes come true! stay happy always k! :D so looking forward to dinner on friday! :)))

i should just be thankful for everything, really
ok why do i seem like im trying to convince myself now! argh

haha i think my astigmatism is getting worse! sometimes the computer screen seems so bright it gets blur for a while..and then i'll rub my eyes and things will somehow seem clearer..haha sounds stupid rite..like it'll actually help..ya but i dont wanna wear specs! so ma fan..but i'll look intellectual of cos.. :p hope i nv ever have to wear specs..ok maybe i have to in future when i get old-flower-eye.. :p

haha i feel like a pig! i slp whenever there's a bed available! went to tyz's hse and i slept for 2 plus hrs! haha and i was still trying to convince her i was just lying down and wont fall aslp! but in the end...haha sorry la..promos over oredy so must let myself slp all i want!

haha had a nice dinner wif 3 of u!

tuesdays with morrie taught me to detach myself from negative feelings..by allowing ourselves to immerse fully in that emotion we can then tell ourselves not to think in any way that would evoke that emotion cos we dont want to experience that emotion again..haha not sure if i intepreted it correctly..hmmm quite abstract la..still trying to understand how to do it..

but nway the book is really q insightful..i like this kinda books! :))) i really learnt many many things..and it really made me reflect..how i actually treat and treasure the people around me..that when im toking to this person, there may or actually will be other stuff on my mind, that i wont be able to focus my thought totally on the person im toking to (like wad morrie is doing essentially in the book)..ok and a lot of other stuff la...all of u shd go read the book! :) but i guess i still face the fear of dying..to me there's no way i can lead my life without regrets..but i wanna make sure that when i die, i would have lived a very contented life! oh nway he said ur life will only be meaningful and fulfilling if u learn how to give to others..cos only then u'll feel that wad you're doing has meaning and purpose, not like your everyday, monotonous job..

morrie oso said 'when you learn how to die, you learn how to live' haha sounds meaningful but i really cant understand wad it means..how will i ever learn how to die!

but to me its still quite impossible to live everyday as if it were the last..cos everything about the way i thought and behaved would be different..if i knew i were about to die, i would make sure i let everyone i love know how much i love them, to say my goodbyes properly..and spend every second of my life remaining doing stuff that i always wanted to do..which is not possible cos i cant possibly spend all my time doing such stuff! we still have to be practical ultimately..if i could do anything i wanted, and not do anything i dislike, i wont study at all! but if i don study, i cant get a job next time, and i wont be able to support myself, and i'll die of hunger eventually..haha so i still have to lead my life the way im expected to..sigh

haha i hate paint fumes!

haiss just wanna say sorry k..i seriously think i have a big problem..such stupid things always happen..argh..

if only everything could be like how it was last time..

i seriously seriously hate changes

why are we never contented? the more we have the more we want..such a stupid way of living..

i have so much time now that im feeling bored...so im just wasting my nice slacking time away..haiz..there are so many things to do...i just don feel like doing any of them..haha must get out of my comfort zone like wad yk told me! her stupid brainwashing workshop..

since being happy, sad, angry, scared and so on are all just emotions, wad's wrong wif being sad or angry? its just another emotion after all..why is being happy good? why can people affect one another so easily? we're just all people..ok i dunno wad im saying oso..nvm...

i just feel lost and detached and all..

it was really nice toking to u binnie! thanks! :)

wheee haha oops think i made yukit sound evil or sth in the previous entry...i shall take that back! haha..i feel so bad..i stole a toothbrush from yk's hse! haha actually she gave it to me..cos i forgot to bring mine! no actually i din really plan to slpover..i just brought one set of clothes in case we were going arcade or sth after exams..but in the end i just went over! din feel like going home and seeing the piles of notes on my bed which just accumulated over the week..haha and i ended up like lying on one small corner of my bed only..bleah..yesyes so it was v fun! we din do much but a simple life is really much nicer and enjoyable than a complicated but luxurious one..

chapteh is fun! and zhixian bought a new bimbotic purple chapteh from the bookshop..which gave lousy yk and cheesian bruises near their ankle..haha so lousy lor! only i kick then not pain..u all have weak, hollow bones! must drink more milk like me! haha..and messy yk realized she actually has a chapteh AT HOME!! ahh..hiding in her messy drawer..as usual..haha an even more bimbotic one! HOT PINK! damn funny la..and christine's a natural! she v good lor..first time kick then bai fa bai zhong le..

and corpse bride v funny! couldnt stop laughing even after the movie..all the puns..ok shant say them hear in case i spoil it for ppl who haven watched..but damn short la the movie..so quite waste money..and damn funny..i msged bin to tell her i was watching corpse bride..then i was in the cinema so was trying to hide my phone cos it was v bright..so i din see wad i was typing and she replied..huh! corpse brief?! hahaa ok nvmm not funny..but i found it funny still..

went back to sch after the movie..sounds so sao xing rite..haha cos we din noe where to go..and we wanted to play cards and chapteh! so we played and played til 7 plus..ahh so shuang lor..no restrictions or anything..and then i decided to go to yk's hse in the end..and luckily my mummy din say no! haha..think im rather lucky la..my parents are not that protective over me..given that im the only child..

and ya..so took the mrt all the way to tampines! felt so at home around that area..walked wif yk around tampines mall..SHOPPED! ok a little only la..haha so surprising rite..but it really felt v relaxing to walk around TM..like so long nv go back oredy..then went back to her hse! lazy us took the shuttle bus..haha..and i realized yk stays damn near my grandma's hse! haha...

so we played the comp for the whole nite..damn fun..played arcane at first..but gave up cos we couldnt solve it..then we played get medieval..haha q a stupid game though..just go around killing spiders, bats and lizards..which can attack you..but very gross..after u kill them their blood will be splattered all over the floor..haha then we got bored of the game cos it kept going on and on..and i think yk killed like 70% of the enemy..i always cannot aim one..haha!

then we did jigsaw puzzle! and my eyes were closing oredy..but efficient and lihai me fitted the pieces together at like 600% of yk's rate! :p

and we slept...all the way till 1230! woke up a few times in between but fell back aslp..haha..played a bit of piano, ate lunch..then went downstairs to play chapteh and badminton! so fun! though the wind was q strong..but still v nice..sunny and everything..then got nice space beside the swimming pool and palm trees..we were supposed to go ecp one..but too lazy to go in the end..and cheesian wanted to stay at home and be a couch potato! n it was the first time i toked to cheesian lidat over the phone! haha...

yeah then we went online..to search for pics for my blog template..yk's gonna help me change! this was supposed to be a temporary template anyway..haha..then went for dinner wif kwa, liow, ouou, xiaogui, bin, ngoh and charmaine..ate at bk cos everywhere else was so crowded..but v nice to just sit there and tok too..must organise 4/9 outing! :))

promos over le! but dowanna tok bout it..and there's pw..idiot..yk said its on fri! shit la..dowanna ask the rest bout it too..cos like v saoxing..argh idiot idiot idiot! nvm shant spoil my nice mood...

went to look for a male lovebird for rainbow today! haha budden the stupid petshop owner cant tell if the bird's a female or male..say must take the blood for dna test..so ma fan la! anyway stupid owner..she scolded me! for playing wif one of the dogs there..through the glass summore la..she was like 'excuse me..dont do that'.. in that kind of irritating teacher that tone..then my daddy was beside me..then he oso v bu shuang..so he asked me to leave the shop too..but im happy that my parents are so defensive over me! haha but that's cos i really din do anything wrong wad..but we din get a bird in the end..cos we din noe which were the male ones..and there were only 4 of them..and they were in pairs! so evil to break them up..and all of them were so scared of us la..we go near only they fly away..not like rainbow! so naughty! only know how to bite..

ahhh wad shall i do..starting to feel sian..there's nth that i really really wanna do leh..before exams i would like want to watch tv all the time..or just sit on the sofa in the morning and watch all the cartoons i want..it feels really nice to watch those cartoons..cos they're all so simple and easy to understand..n q cute too! but now i oso don really feel like doing those leh..haizz got books to read but lazy to read oso..nvm shall go waste my time away! haha slacking is nice oso..

ok la..shant write so much oredy..think it sounds v boring too..okie bye!

yayy finally!

haha at yukit's hse now! its 145am and im damn sleepy but she doesnt want to let me sleep! :p

haha so so so so happy can finally go play all i want! going ecp tmr!
ok goodnite! yk's on the bed now im so scared she'll fall aslp and leave me alone and awake in her house!