complicating simplicities

2 papers down! was really sleepy before both papers...think i didn't sleep enough last night! usually i won't be sleepy before an exam but dunno why this time i just felt very dazed!

attempted to drink coffee before the other paper..i hardly ever drink it and so i just wanted to give it a shot, to hopefully jerk me awake before my 2nd paper..but after drinking it, i felt just as sleepy and my stomach even felt a bit queasy!! my conclusion is that coffee has no powers over me at all!

hmm feel quite slack now..was looking forward to this moment yesterday when i was super stressed trying to mug for my 2 papers today..and now that i'm in this moment, it IS a relaxing feeling, but i'm feeling restless! i'm feeling really sleepy! but somehow when i lie on the bed i just can't get to sleeeppp..is this what imsomnia feels like??

at zk's hall now with totally nothing to do! sleepy but can't sleep..i feel LOST! haha

i foresee this is gonna be a damn random post cos i have nothing else to do!

went down to play with the cats just now..feel quite blessed to be able to play with them..it's like having many pets without having to really take care of them (clean up their poo, bathe them, feed them etc.)..it's really being able to have your cake and eat it! haha my feeling of being blessed was further reinforced when i watched on channel newsasia the other day that 'cat cafes' are sprouting up all over japan as this business concept is increasing in popularity..basically people visit these cafes to play with the many cats there and often make return visits to monitor the growth of their target cats! they can help to feed the cats and all too..and i was thinking while these people pay to interact with cats, i can do so for free! haha 30% of the attraction of zk's hall to me really lies in the excitement i get whenever i think that i can play with the cats there!

while waiting for the exam scripts to be collected today, i looked round the nanyang audi and started analysing the architecture. i realised constructors, architects and electricians are really geniuses. i can NEVER come close to producing even a door, and that is why i am so awed by how every nook, cranny & crevice has been created. Even the ceiling seems humongous! how did they even manage to shape such a huge slab of cement and get it up there in the first place?? there were also rows and rows of lights..how did they install these? how did the electrician plan where the wires would go and then really placed them there so strategically?

sometimes i really think humans are another breed of animals on our own. i've blogged about this before, how it's amazing we're so much more evolved that we created this whole world of our own. erecting skyscrapers, inventing wireless communication, to writing journals..i think it's safe to say humans have a much more complex way of communication than other animals??

at other times, though, i'm always overcome by the realisation that we are, simply, animals too. as alive as them, and as transient on this earth as them. i dunno why, but booboo's incident made me view life much more simply. that the greatest blessing in our lives is really just being alive. having life in itself is the best thing we were endowed with.

and in those passing moments when i'm struck by this conclusion, many things i see around me get devaluated instantly. the internet, printed notes, reading notes resulting from centuries of knowledge processing and transferring by other people, suddenly seem worthless. why do humans complicate our lives by creating an entity called 'knowledge'? why does it seem so important for us to discover the science behind this world, the planets around us, how other animals reproduce,and then try so hard to document these findings..when other animals can get on fine with their lives just by blending into the natural outdoors, the world as it was when it was formed?

why do humans get bored when we have 'nothing' to do and hence invent a world full of hobbies and entertainment? how different life would be if we were just like another animals, enjoying kinship, while also having to worry about catching the next prey or being the next one..

sometimes looking at how much this world has developed, with new inventions introduced continually, makes me feel that humans are not exactly part of this natural environment. instead of being subject to nature, we seek to control it, and in the process destroy it. we remove acres of forests to make way for buildings, supposedly more habitable than the natural outdoors? in this respect we can never really be like other animals. why do we need our own exclusive buildings and cement structures we call houses?

hmm though by darwin's theory of natural evolution, i guess the fittest characteristics tend to be sustained. so perhaps having such structures allowed us to survive for so many centuries..maybe they provide the hygiene and shelter for us to live and reproduce safely in.

but still, i do think it's unnatural. i'm not advocating going back to our stone age days where men went hunting and women went gathering. this leads me to another explanation for why humans changed the surface of this planet the way we did- for security. we are still hunters, but no longer prey to others, by way of how we create this formal boundaries around our territory, building houses to keep out potential predators. i think it's the most unnatural phenomenon that we end up being right at the top of this food web.

yea i guess that is the mostly likely conclusion i can think of for now. like i said, this IS a very random entry! very unorganized cos i'm still sleepy! but these thoughts have been hovering in my head for quite a while now.

off to ginger and kari i go! :)

and so i attended the very last lesson of my uni education, and as kokwei put it (to deliberately make me feel emo), the very last lesson of my formal education since i was in primary school.

does make me feel slightly liberated, but mainly apprehensive, sentimental and nostalgic. i won't deny i'm afraid of the future. i'm not as sociable and open to change and challenge as i'd like myself to be.

took my very first photo with an ntu tutor, and ironically, not one from nbs. my very last lesson was my spanish lesson! a more light-hearted end to a heavier reality perhaps :) at first i was begging kokwei to take a photo with the teacher and me, and then we overheard two girls behind us wanting to take too! and wadever paisehness i had totally disappeared, and before i knew it, it became a CLASS photo. wow, i've never taken a class photo in a classroom setting since jc! they were all so cute afterwards, discussing how i should add each of them on fb or sth so that i could share the photo (which was taken on my camera) with them!

my AA304 group! tze yuen (diana you can finally see what he looks like!), kezia & joseph :) i like this photo cos i tried to tip-toe to look taller while kez was so indignant about it and kept trying to push me back down so she won't appear so short!!

had dinner at can A after spanish, and kokwei, chinboon & yaoyao were being all silly! trying to say emo things and sing emo songs on separation and goodbyes to make me emo about my 'last lesson day'! cb as usual suggested taking a photo with a 'scenic' backdrop!

yaoyao being SILLY in my test shots!
hehe our proper grp photo- me and the 3 chivalrous knights! haha! *pukes* anyway didn't realise there's so much noise in the pic though! looked alright on my camera screen!

but i felt really thankful that they were so sweet to walk me to zk's hall :)

of course i have lotsa thoughts about the imminent end of uni life, but that's for another time. i guess the submission of my last exam script would hold much more meaning, and it would then be true liberation, or helplessness, whichever way i choose to look at it.

jiayou everyone for the upcoming exams! :) cherish being able to study while we can!

my indulgences

simply could not stay focused on studying today, and ended up spending great portions of my time taking photos of the flowers at zk's house!

it was a little tiring though, as i tried so hard to capture the morning glories from numerous angles, and they were actually hanging from quite a height! i had to keep my arms raised perpetually, waiting for the right moment to press the shutter as the flower kept swaying in the wind! plus it was raining lightly..had to constantly wipe my lens too!

i used to only like taking photos of flowers when they were in the sun..cos i like the yellowish glow of the sun's rays..but i realised the colours of flowers are best captured on a cloudy day actually, when the exposure is lower..and taking photos after a rainfall is quite a magical moment too! as you can see from the above photos how water droplets help adorn the flowers and leaves :)

morning glories are actually really pretty flowers..and their buds are unique too, like spiral cones..

i hope zk's daddy plants more pretty flowers! hehe

okok i really need to get back to studying now :x