yay im really happy now i've finally made up my mind! i'm so grateful for all the wise people around me who made me realise that the course which is more difficult to get into is not necessarily the better one for me..and after everything, i realised how naive i was to have applied for environmental engineering on impulse! i just though i would like it because i liked being in the environment/natural outdoors...but i didnt actually imagine myself enjoying constructing machines and gadgets to improve the way waste, water, gases etc are treated! haha...

and zk's sis lent me the 'cake mania' game to install in my comp! so excited! its something like diner dash but slightly easier and cuter and i'm really contented because i've been simply bored every night with nothing to do! there's nothing much to surf online and most of the time the people i chat to on msn are not online too! so i just rot the nights away..but now i got something simple but fun to occupy my time with muahahaha! ok i sound damn loser now..and his sis is really very cute and nice she bought chocolates for me too :D :D

went to a bar for the first time with yk, vips and mavis on fri..really enjoyed the company..i really hope our holiday plans do materialise! i hope to do sth memorable before i go back to school (which i'm quite excited about too cos i do miss studying! haha)...

as i was walking home today, i looked up and saw the lit-up living room of my home, and i never felt like wanting to reach home as soon as possible so much before..my home is really the place i feel safest in, protected from all negative aspects of the world outside..i felt more blessed than ever to step into a home with such wonderful and loving parents waiting for me to come back..

perhaps i'm really not as good as so many other people..but maybe its a blessing for me..because it made me realise that what i actually want in life is to be able to have a nice family to share a home with, to have time to meet up with friends often, and time to pursue my personal interests like craftwork, reading and cooking! I believe God has already created the right path for me..and He probably knew I wouldn't make a good doctor because of the high priority i place on family life (which i stupidly wrote about in my essay haha)..

i felt like a failure just yesterday..i guess its the natural disappointment of having to change my mindset all so suddenly..but im surprised that i recovered so fast..and strangely, i feel even more excited about my future now! with the knowing that i'll have more time on my hands...i realised that success is really what we define it to be..

and to everyone who was there for me (haha i sound like i've been through some major setback, but really, im ok la!), i really appreciate it!! its times like these when i see the beauty of friendship..and this feeling of being loved by those around me is much more precious than anything else in the world..

and congrats to all of you who got the courses you wanted!! :) :)

K-PAX

Ahh I’ve never felt so passionately about a book before! Or 3 books in this case..I MUST PROMOTE IT TO ALL OF YOU!!

It’s a trilogy actually..its K-PAX!! My language is really not good enough to convince all of you about how good the story actually is..(I was confused up till just now whether it was a true story or not but I just viewed the official movie website- IT’S BEEN MADE INTO A MOVIE IN 2001!!- and I’m quite convinced its not real la..haha) I feel like I’m doing some free-advert for the author or something..but reallyyy..all of you should go read it..

The titles of the books are:
K-PAX
K-PAX II: On a Beam of Light
K-PAX III: The Worlds of prot

Its available in some of the libraries..go borrow and read for yourselves ok!

I think it belongs to the Science fiction genre..but don’t worry its not actually sciency..if I can actually like it..it’s the most intriguing story I’ve ever read! Its full of suspense, hope and basically teaches us about life lessons in general..through a totally unexpected perspective..from someone who claims he’s from another planet called K-PAX, where everything is ideal..

For those of you who are not yet bored by my excessive rambling, this is briefly what the story is about! The narrator of the book is actually a psychatrist..and the entire book is basically describing the various mental patients at the mental institute, but mainly revolving around this patient called prot, who claims he’s from K-PAX..and the thing is, it seems almost believable! Because there is really no loophole in everything he describes about life on that planet..and he seems so damn credible because he is super knowledgeable and has this profound influence on the other patients, even helping to cure some of them whom the doctors all failed to cure! Each chapter is in the form of each session Dr. Brewer (narrator) has with prot (meant to be small letters, rhymes with goat)..and more and more is uncovered about the real personality of the patient, as prot undergoes hypnosis (which he can uncannily perform on his own!)..prot’s eyes have also been proven to be sensitive to UV light, a characteristics of insects only..

Aiya I’m like doing some book review homework..haha..but I genuinely wanna promote these books to everyone cos I feel they’re really good, and they teach us a lot of things..about humans and our selfishness..its quite a deep book..but easy to understand…

Must read for yourself to understand what I’m feeling now! Hehe..i read the first book last year..courtesy of zk..and I finished it in one day! And I thought that was all to it! Until I heard there was actually a TRILOGY!! And I went to search online and there really was!! I was damn ELATED la!! Then I immediately went to the National Library Board webbie and tracked down the locations of the books! Muahahah! I borrowed mine from Bishan lib, and I finished the remaining 2 books in 3 days! You really will just wanna read to the end of the book one..

Shall end off with some quotes from the book..

“…how does a secondary or other personalities differ from the primary one, and from the fully integrated human being? Are they completely different individuals? Or are certain things missing in the thoughts and feelings of the various alters, who are merely “parts” of a whole? Are we all simply a mix of different personalities which dominate our minds at different times? If so, which of these is responsible for our actions?”

“When you stop making killing seem admirable, when motherhood becomes less important than survival- not just your survival, but that of all the other creatures on your PLANET- you’ll be on your way to adulthood.”

“What kind of world is it where violence and war are not only accepted, but your youth are encouraged to practise them? Where your leaders must be constantly guarded against assassination, an airline travelers frisked for weapons? Where every vial of aspirin must be protected against poisoning? Where some of your beings make fortunes to play games while others are starving? Where no one believes a single word your governments or your corporations say? Where your stockbrokers and film stars are more valued than your teachers? Where the numbers of human beings increase and increase while other species are driven to extinction?..”

haha these are the more philosophical parts..but most part of the books is actually funny!
Ok la I shall end here! Hope I was convincing enough! :D

Been thinking of quite a few things lately..nothing big or significant though..had this thought quite a lot, especially as I’m walking to work with the crowd..i was wondering how amazing it is that human beings are just animals after all, but in a sense we’re so much smarter that the other animals..how we managed to manipulate our surroundings, our resources so effectively, to produce the art of language, of using words to communicate..and how we, an animal just like a dog, monkey or fish, created a whole new world of technology, from which our buildings and all other home appliances arised..it made me wonder if God really created human beings as a separate breed..a unique and special species capable of so many more things…of delving into philosophy, science, the arts…its just too specialized that we no longer view ourselves as ‘animals’ anymore..and it tends to lead me to the story of Animal Farm..i’m not really sure why too..perhaps its my whole apprehension towards religion (which I don’t wish to go into here because I don’t know very much about it) cos I can’t decide if humans are simply an evolution of apes into a much smarter species or really the offspring of Adam and Eve..

hmm..and other things like an uncertain future..but I guess I’m seeking comfort and assurance in the fact that no matter wad paths we may all take..it’ll eventually be the correct path…even if it may not seem the most ideal now, certain things that we may seem to lose now will be returned to us in other more meaningful ways...

I do get upset at work sometimes..its scary how even in a non-business-like setting, there can be ‘office politics’..how people backstab each other..how people take advantage of others..how ‘ungenuine’ some people can be..but I take comfort in the knowing that I’ll only be there for another month or so..its not that I dislike my job..i just feel like running away from everything sometimes when I get sick of how immature people can get! that there is no real friendship forged..just mere talk for the sake of taking part in conversations..and how some people think they have so much more authority than others just because they received more education..

I’ve learnt to ignore things that I shouldn’t get affected by..maybe its escapism..but as long as it doesn’t make me do or think silly things, I think its good! There’re certain things that may not be the most ideal…I used to think that as humans, anything that we can actually control is possible..but I guess we have to learn to let go of some things if dwelling on it will get us nowhere..

Haha my post sounds more pessimistic than anything..but of cos there’re happy thoughts too! Like how I feel glad that I have certain friendships..and my family..I really feel very blessed…

Really happy to have met up with 3m today….very glad that everyone’s still the same..the familiar feeling of sitting together at meals..and playing our only exciting sit-down game, mafia..cos we’re too uncreative to think of anything else! Hehe..oh and I’m intrigued by how specific songs remind me of specific periods in my life..such nostalgia..i’ve decided that it’s a sweet feeling after all! :) and I know why I like surfing the net for beautiful scenery pictures oredy..cos it gives me this same feeling of nostalgia..i know its weird cos it cant be nostalgia since I’ve never actually been to all those places before..but it’s the same feeling of knowing that I may never be able to get to that place (or that phase in my memory anymore)….