haha i noe i shd seriously start mugging for promos oredy..yk stressed me out! wad 5 days per subject excluding GP...haha

but was just feeling sian so i came here! :p

studied in sch today..so proud of myself! FINALLY got down to doing my transport in mammals tutorial..haha..n a bit of maths! err pw was a little sao xing la..but shant dwell on it anymore..but thanks zhixian, dawn n yukit!! really enjoyed playing chapteh wif u all! :)))) hehe i so li hai rite! :P but was damn hot la my blouse so thick..next time must play more k! and soo sorry for hitting the shuttlecock to the ledge.. :s thanks dawn if u're helping me replace one..haha

nway..was just thinking again..and i still feel i have found the best friends from sec sch..its like even when we have all gone to different schs..u all still seem to understand me the best..and accept me for who i am totally..haha i guess not many can do that..bleah think i appear v childish to a lot of ppl..but who cares la..i think if i show my serious side i'll be quite scary and i dowanna put ppl off! so why be serious??? haha okk nvm...

i guess i just have very high expectations of my friends..to me the perfect fren shd be one who will be willing to go out of the way to help her fren..without expecting anything in return..but just does it out of her own goodness and its based on the friendship we have..and not be calculative..
a perfect fren must be willing to listen to what i wanna say..without any impatience..she doesnt have to give any advice..but she has to be able to put herself in my shoes and empathize wif me..
i shd be able to seek assurance in my true friend in times of trouble and know that friend will never leave me alone to decide on the big things in my life..or small ones for that matter..i dunno..i just want a friend who's always there..

but i'm glad i have a few..and a few is enough for life..u all noe who u are..i don mind not making anymore friends..cos im thankful for the wonderful few i have already..and its so difficult to find more ppl like them..haha or maybe its just a preconditioned mindset that i wont be able to..from experience or wad i dunno la..i just feel good listeners are hard to find..as in one who would patiently and willingly listen to wad i have to say..and not just listen for the sake of showing me a little respect or sth..

and i still wanna be enlightened on how i shd go about cherishing the ppl and things around me..i still seem to take many things for granted..and i noe thinking bout cherishing alone wont help in letting the ppl i cherish know that i cherish them..haiya..someone enlighten me! i've come to find it awkward to say i love you to my parents..though i still will if i haven seen them for days and we talk on the phone or sth..haha..but then again, won't these words lose their meaning if i say them too often? but if i do mean it its another thing rite..

i just want everything around me to stay the way it is..

i love rainbow!! :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KWA!!! :))))

haha happy birthday kwa!
thanks for the dinner just now..all of us enjoyed it..it felt really nice and homely to have dinner..just the 6 of us again..with whom i feel most comfortable and unrestrained wif..i really just have to be myself..hope u like our presents too! may all ur wishes come true.. :) really glad u like the bag!!!

hmmm i dont really know what to say...why are we back to this problem again?
just like it takes two hands to clap, it needs two mutual souls for a friendship to work too..
maybe both of us are not trying hard enough..
but is a friendship a friendship if we have to try so hard in the first place?
its not about how often we meet up or how often we talk
its about making the effort to meet up just when you're free, that makes the feeling so magical
i know you dont want to feel detached too..i've thought about all this before..about not bothering to meet up and share about my life..cos i was lazy to explain everything from the beginning all over again..
maybe your priorities in life have changed, whether you want it or not..
some things matter more to you now, and other things less..
of course its the same for me..nothing ever stays the same i guess
(haha the last two sentences rhymed! i can go be a poet liao)

nway, nothing in this post is offensive or meant in any malice k..maybe u wont like me to say i still treat you as my best friend..maybe u feel such words shdnt be said out loud..(maybe that applies more to love??) i dont know..but i feel having true friends is being able to take comfort in sharing your problems and happiness with that person..and seek assurance should you feel you have somewhat lost your direction in life and need somebody to rely on...

ok that's out of point..but i'm just trying to say thinking that you think about friendship isnt going to help matters..its putting such negative thoughts aside and trying in action to improves things that's gonna make the difference..

taking things more light-heartedly would really help too..trust me..the deeper you go into such stuff the worse u're gonna feel..and it kinda blinds you from other possible positive thoughts..cos you have become so fixed in such thoughts..

don take it upon urself too..its also my fault..i admit i don't share much with you nowadays..i also find it difficult to find the opportunity too..and maybe u dont know, i was unusually quiet that day not cos i had nothing to say to u..i had nothing to say even when the rest arrived..i had other stuff on mind..tell ya soon..after ur maths test i guess...

i dont know if it'll be good if we 3 sit down and talk this out..or will it be better if we just pretended nothing happened? cos if we talk it out, it may get awkward after that, and any efforts spent on maintaining the friendship may seem forced and fake..

i still feel it should be natural...and meeting up once in a while really is sweet esp if we hardly see each other..sumhow u'll just feel happy..okok nway i'm really not angry..not much reason to be too..so don worry k...ya still wanna say, best friends for life darling..

4/9 gathering!!

so happy...went back to ny for teachers' day yesterday..saw lotsa lotsa teachers, and lotsa lotsa friends too! it really felt damn nice la...like there were so many ppl around to wave to, to say hello..the feeling of being reunited once again..

haha i noe this sounds insincere, but before i reached ny i stopped by coro to get sth for ms ng..got this very cute teddy bear and a card..haha..i only gave her k! :p i dunno..not that she's my favourite teacher but i guess im just most grateful to her..she has really taught me a lot la..n i have really gained a lot from guiding too..ya so...after i got off the bus at tchs bus stop, i was trying to pia the card! then bamboo, kwa and yumiao came along! leefang, yiling and kailing but they left first..then in the end the whole grp was waiting for me to finish my card..haha feel so bad..

ya as expected, the sch was damn crowded..esp the staff rooms...full of ex-ny ppl..actually saw many j1s..hardly any j2s..hmmm will we all still come back next yr? i tot like its a matter-of-fact thing..but j2s are having prelims now rite..haiya next yr then see la..but will seem so ungrateful lidat..

ok and potato chan was damn funny! cos i walked away first..then he was asking kwa if she got bf not.. :P then told her some funny advice la..cant really rem exactly..but like must faster look out for the good guys now..cos after jc all the good guys snapped up oredy..(haha!) then if u find u really like, must keep ORBITING around him! haha i was damn amused at this! plus he teaches physics summore..wahahaha

n mr khoo forgot my name! kwa's too..sigh..he said he was getting old..he looked at me and said, "i know u're tan" haha!...he remembers me by my surname! but at least he din forget me la...

saw many many other teachers...ms ng, mrs chua (she still remembers kwa and me la!), adrian chan, mrs seah, lss, ms sia..but sadly couldnt find anna fu and wu lao shi.... :(

then we all went for lunch! a lot of us leh! was very happy..in ny we oso nv go out as such a big grp one..19 of us!! went to orchard..haha though at first i dowan go orchard cos i don like orchard! :p went to eat the crystal jade lamian..each of us ate one bowl..no choice had to eat there if we wanted to eat as a grp..and it was cheaper than that ajisen restaurant they were saying..haha...it was really very cosy..all 19 of us squeezed together at one long table..by joining many small tables and chairs together..

ahhh i dunno how come i eat so slowly! i was the first to get my food..and everyone was looking at me with envy!!! wahahaha...but i was the last to finish too! argh dunno why! then everyone was waiting for me to finish too..haha..they distract me la! tok so much..very nice..toked and toked..so nice to meet up wif everyone again..then stupid kitty took a video of me wif her hp (without telling me!), trying to shoot my horrible eating skills as i tried to tear open my pork! haha okok i shall try to have more eating ettiquette...

i guess the greatest thing bout eating wif my ny frens is that i can TOTALLY be myself again..cos i noe they'll accept me for who i am..wadeva nonsense i do..they'll have seen it before..and they accept me for that too...

then walked around..walked to cine..saw zit! haha..then went to the food court to sit down..and i fell aslp! haha....then we went home...and piggy me fell aslp till dinner time! and slept not long after having dinner too... :s

nway to u, hope u're feeling better..there's really no point thinking bout such stuff..and there's nth to think about in the first place! trust me..nway true friends look at ur heart first..and that's enough oredy rite..

ok la woke up so late this morning! shall go have my breakfast first! stomach growling le!