HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY YANZHEN!

here's to our friendship of 6 years and counting! :) we may have had ups & downs along the way, but this friendship is something i really cherish & hold close to my heart!

i went to JE lib today and managed to find the prequel to 'Just Beyond the Clouds'! :) looking forward to reading it!

hmm and i feel demoralized by driving..feel lousy at it!! i feel like i keep deproving with each lesson..forgetting how to do stuff that i could do few lessons back..my parents keep chasing me to apply for a test date but i feel so lousy how will i ever be prepared to take the test!

and i cant help but feel disappointed with some people..nvm..must learn to forgive and forget!

just beyond the clouds

i just finished reading this book by karen kingsbury, titled "Just Beyond the Clouds", and i really enjoyed my read! :)

it revolves around 2 adults with Down Syndrome, Daisy and Carl Junior- whose genuine and innocent love and care for each other makes relationships seem so simple and real- and their older siblings, Elle & Cody who eventually fall in love too..the whole story is just very sweet..Elle is a teacher in a school which gears its students with Down Syndrome up for independent living, where each of them has a Goal Day, something which gives their lives meaning and something to look forward to..Cody initially struggles against the idea as he believes that his brother CJ should be safely at home, taken care of by his family, given his medical problems..he felt that the school was just instilling impossible ideas in his brother's mind as he would never be able to take care of himself..but he slowly grows to realise that all the "life skills" Elle has been teaching were having tremendously positive effects on the students there..

I could identify with some of the life skills they tried to impart to the students cos we seek to achieve them during sessions too..but i guess the book probably catered to more high-functioning students and thus not all the ideas are applicable..but some of the skills the students mastered were memorizing bus routes, baking & cooking (where different students were in charge of bringing different ingredients), shopping within a budget, cleaning up, reading & writing, speaking at appropriate volumes, crossing the road safely, table manners, making choices between alternatives, recognizing feelings and talking about them, dancing, maintaining a healthy diet, exercising and as this book is written by a staunch christian, prayer was one of the most important skills emphasized.

each Friday Elle would bring her students on field trips, something they very much looked forward to, just like our trainees in RSPID! :) it's so sweet how CJ always tries to protect Daisy when it rains because she's afraid she would melt, just like the wicked witch in Wizard of Oz..he would tell her that "there is sunshine..just beyond the clouds"..which i felt was really heartwarming :)

other than that, there is of course the love that blossoms between Elle & Cody, both of whom have experienced life-turning events causing them to not want to love again..i highly recommend this book! :)

lastly, may i quote these phrases from the book, which touched me particularly:

"A mother know she's done a great job when she has an empty nest and a full heart"

"Down Syndrome is nothing more than a layer of clouds, really. Clouds that cover up a very bright sunshine." (and hence the title & theme of the book!)

the transformers

i watched the transformers on tv yesterday in full for the first time, and it was simply heartbreaking yet touching at the same time..they told the story of a 75 year-old man, who is still slogging his life away as a karang guni to support his family of 3 kids and a wife, all of whom do not work at all..notably, his kids have all grown up, but they are not just not independent to support even themselves, much less their parents, who should be enjoying their old age by now..his youngest two daughters jumped to their deaths, which could possibly be the reason why the other children are not mentally stable today, having been traumatized by the tragedies in their family. when the hosts visited his apartment, there was hardly any space to walk at all! it was filled, almost to the ceiling, with decades of items, junks, and other stuff he repaired, collected through his work as a karang guni..

yet, despite all the sadness that loomed over the family (he even prepared casket photos of both his wife & himself already), he could still face life with such optimism and willpower..i really admire his strength..it was heartwrenching to see an old man like him shed tears as he related his life story to the hosts..it was touching to see his home, which originally looked like a junkyard simply unsuitable for inhabitance, transformed into one which now boasted of beds, a luxury almost all of us take for granted..it lifted my heart to see him smiling from ear to ear, after finally being able to see 'walls' in his house, and having his items converted into cash...

the show reached out to me constantly, and i'm sure other viewers as well, to really cherish what we have..the old man said that they occasionally would chi hao de, which was to packet food with a few dishes costing $2..and they didn't cook because gas is expensive..what a difference it would make if the richer people of this society would just share a tiny bit of their wealth with the less well-to-do..

hmm..and i realised when some things are gone, they are gone forever..no matter how hard i try, it is not for me, a single person, to change anything..and perhaps this is just how it's meant to be..living in separate worlds, with occasional overlaps in our lives..

capturing beautiful moments :)

i like how the sun's rays can create a sky boasting a palette full of colours, and how the clouds join in the merriment to bring beautiful sights, one after another, to our eyes..



each time when it is nearing sunset and i get the chance to witness just a slightly orange sky, i'd always stop in my tracks to admire it just for a few moments more..to capture that soothing picture in my memory, and to appreciate how beautiful nature can be..whenever i'm on the train and the vast sky outside, together with the setting sun, cast a golden light over the land, i just can't help but wish i could run to the edge of the island, with no buildings to obstruct my view, just to keep snapping pictures of the wondrous sky!



i like how the sky always seems darker towards the top, with a gentle gradient bringing it to a lighter shade where it touches the land..how clouds glow along their silver linings..how they turn orange, red and pink when the sun sets..a simple blue sky with white clouds or one common to the break of day, with its blue and orange streaks, makes me feel blessed to be alive somehow! i always wish i was a better artist, able to paint what i see, but i know i can never reproduce such stunning gradients that only Mother Nature is capable of!



and i'm very happy that i got my new camera! i feel really excited that i can better capture all these wonderful scenery around me..here are the first few photos i took with it! :)

also, exams are finally over! yet again, a semester has gone by just like this..i don't really want uni to be over so fast..i think its one of the last moments i still feel sheltered, guided along..and youthful! so i must cherish these moments as best as i can!

random thoughts

i went over to my grandma's house the other day..which make me think about how noble domestic workers, or maids, actually are..each of them made a big sacrifice in coming to singapore, to take up the role of usually the sole breadwinner of the family, to enable those back home to lead a better life, in turn having to leave all their loved ones behind..and having to face all the uncertainy that lies ahead of them bravely- the kindness of the family which they'll live with, having to adapt to a whole new lifestyle and most of all, deal with all the loneliness of being abroad alone..and this makes me sympathize with them, and respect them at the same time..and i therefore cannot understand how some people can treat their maids so rudely..expecting these domestic workers to be at their beck-and-call, and every slight mistake made is treated as an inexcusable error, which simply reduces these poor workers, also human beings with feelings just like us, into slaves! i don't think poverty should be a cause for anyone to stand over anyone else, or assume he is of a higher class and therefore in a commanding position. yes, i know that maids are paid to work for their employers in a way, but i thought they're just supposed to be helpers, not servants? simple acts of pouring a glass of water can't be too difficult to be performed by oneself, isn't it? haha nothing happened that made me write all these la..just that i've been having this feeling through the years and finally remembered to voice it!

the trip to pohpoh's hse also made me realise how much i miss laddieboy and how i wish i could still hug him now... :( remember how we used to play hide-and-seek and catching together whenever i came back home to pohpoh's house in primary school..

on to other stuff, i'm REALLY stressed!! had my FINAL lesson of the sem today, but somehow, i don't feel a sense of release, because exams are sooo close and i'm so unprepared! i must really learn to study smart and stop trying to waste time memorizing everything! and most of all, i MUST STAY FOCUSED!

jiayou everyone!! :) the holidays will be here soon!!

a touching moment

just that day after swimming therapy ended and we were walking our trainees out to board the bus, i witnessed a moving scene that really touched my heart..as always, sherra's dad came to pick her..as we passed through the turnstile, he was there, patiently awaiting her arrival..when she reached, he immediately held her by the hand, every step of the way back to his vehicle, speaking to her constantly with genuine concern..he must have asked her how her day at the pool was..i was simply overwhelmed by that unassuming display of parental love..which reminded me of how much my parents love me and how i always never appreciate them enough..how daddy would always ask me how my day went and how i'd sometimes mind his constant asking of questions..when the only reason he asks so much is because he cares for me..

watching father and daughter leave hand-in-hand, tears simply welled up in my eyes..no matter how their children may grow up to be like, parental love is all-encompassing, noble and unconditional..

an aimless life

been thinking alot about my life lately..and the more i think, the more uncertain i am of what i'm doing in accountancy, and if auditing or finance is really what i want to take up as a career. at least for now, i can safely say that my interests lie elsewhere, and i really can't visualise enjoying myself in this competitive business world. nor do i have the interest to even find out more about wad's going on in the market, what the finance industry does etc..which struck me rather hard as i dont know if i'm just wasting my time studying something that's leading to a job i can't really identify with..

i still do wish very much that i had gotten into medicine then..i think this will be a regret i'll have for the rest of my life, unless i'm able to find a career that truly motivates me in just one and a half years..i don't know if it was fate then that things should be this way, or simply cos i'm just lousy at interviews in general..but i find this feeling of regret getting more and more intense rather than it fading away as time passes..if i were given another chance to make another application, would i be courageous enough to give up what i've learnt for 2 years? but at least its something i can see myself being happy doing..sigh..it's just this sinking feeling that's always there, that i sometimes choose to run away from because i know i will feel sad if i keep letting it sink in..

another interest i had was to join precious moments as a designer, but after much effort trying to find out more about the job options it offered, i realised that firstly, it recruits only in the U.S and secondly, i don't think they have a group of designers, but only one designer, Sam Butcher, who invented all these teardrop-eyed characters in the first place! i obviously overestimated myself! haha..i just find the world that these characters portray very beautiful..simple, pretty and filled with goodness..who doesn't agree that precious moments stuff are just so captivating? but anyway, so much for my endeavour to work there and be part of this beautiful creation..

in the process of looking through their website, i found this super cool video of how a figurine is created, from the design stage right till the sculpting and painting stage! i feel so inspired...

here's the link!
http://www.preciousmoments.com/content.cfm/how_pm_made

haha not sure if anyone will go open it to see, but it's just so much talent there! i wish i had such abilities..

another option i was considering was to set up a bakery of some sort..again, i don't like the business side of it..ahh i really dont know wad i'm doing in this course!

i must not fall asleep so easily!

i'm back! realised i haven't blogged for rather long..this sem seems to have passed super fast..i'm already more than halfway through it, and it still feels like i just started school! not really sure what that implies..

glad this school week is finally over..you could say its possibly the most stressful week (apart from exams) of this semester..and i really felt like i needed a breather..each and every commitment seemed equally important, but i just really had no time to accomplish all of them, and with a standard i could be proud of..or perhaps, i just did not have enough motivation to keep awake..i just keep falling asleep! i can really conclude that sleeping is my greatest vice right now! i really don't know how my friends could admire me in the past for being able to survive on very little sleep...it seems totally impossible now! just abit of work makes me wanna sleep already..hais..but yea back to my point, i'm a little disappointed with myself for not being to juggle my various commitments well..and i guess i compromised most on my projects..i'm really lucky i have fabulous project mates this sem who are very understanding..but i still feel very bad i'm not able to do as much as i would like to, or would if i were in a less tied up situation..

i need a break!

recess week was hardly even a break for me..ironically it was more stressful than the usual school weeks..guess cos i knew i had alot of tests and projects due the week after and so i was more stressed plus more than half the week was dedicated to rspid stuff..i just wanted some time to myself!!

haha this post is sounding so whiney but i dont care!

i think i'm getting the hang of planning and running sessions, but i still feel really inexperienced..lotsa things i do not yet know (& perhaps i never will) and really loads to learn! but i guess it's a good learning experience..and i hope that one year from now i can look back and feel happy with what i've done..really glad for all my fellow volunteers in rspid..think they're all really nice and sincere people..which is one of the reasons that draws me back to our sessions week after week! :)

my friends who're studying in UK have flew back already..feel that i didn't meet up with them as much as i'd like to..feel kinda angry with myself..for not making the effort to really catch up with all of them..hmm..but at least i saw them at least once each! :) to ang chieh, vips and huahua, take good care of urself back there k! and to mavis! i dont know if you still read my blog, but i'm looking forward to your return in november!! hang in there for your exams!!

k la im getting sleepy will update again another time!

cherish

i realized there's no point trying too hard..if its meant to be, it will be..all the one-sided greetings..i should have known better, earlier..if you're not wanted around, it will show..what's the point of putting aside my pride then, for something that i have in reality little control over..maybe i'm thinking too much..but it's painful when you start speculating, hope that it's not the truth, but later find out it actually is..you start to understand so well that ignorance is really bliss..what happened to friendship that was supposed to be simple, all-encompassing and gracious? hope in uncertainty gives one strength, but more often than not, it leads to even more disappointment than if one did not hope at all..should i still hope for anything, then?

i have always, during times of adversity, be brought back to the simple truth that the people i can run to for faith, for assurance are just right in front of me. my parents..i hate myself for never appreciating them enough..will i ever be able to love as unconditionally as them? no matter what happens, they're always there for me..making me feel that everything will be alright..for as long as i stay within their protective arms..how daddy, above anyone else, will do whatever he can to stand up for my rights..even if it seems that nobody else cares..i felt so safe, so secure to leave everything in his hands..and mummy, always taking care of every little detail of my life..makes me feel that nothing can be too difficult for me to handle, as long as they're around..

and for you dear, for simply being the best boyfriend in the world..more than i could ever ask for..always so understanding to accomodate my schedule..trying your best to find me whenever i am sad..no matter how inconvenient it is for you..like my parents, you make me feel so secure just knowing i have you in my life..thank you for loving me..

i must must stop being so caught up with my own life, and really start to cherish the people who mean so much to me..i always want to share my innermost thoughts with my parents..but somehow, the desire to appear strong in front of them always becomes an obstacle to my doing so..sigh..

i will press on!

a genuine display of love

on my way home today, i witnessed a simple but moving act of love. it was raining the whole day and i was just hoping to reach home as soon as possible and seek shelter from the rain. as i was walking up the stairs, a couple was walking down. what caught my attention immediately was that the guy, who was holding the umbrella, was only half-sheltered by it. it seemed so natural for him to want to keep his partner dry. and they didn't seem like those lovey-dovey couples still in the honeymoon period, in which the guy would sometimes try too hard to impress the girl. rather, his noble act was one that he didn't have the intention of letting his girl know, simply walking down together in a perfectly normal, mundane manner older couples do.

this is what true love is about i guess, having no qualms about putting the ones you love before yourself. <3

nostalgia

i was sorting and looking through my jc texts while clearing my room and sigh, was hardly hit by nostalgia all over again..from the most unexpected source! my chem s and physics s tys..just flipping through the pages, looking at the notes i diligently but blindly jotted down during the lectures..i actually miss the whole feeling of staying back after school and attending these lectures during which i'm almost always lost and unprepared for..then, i'd always feel tempted to skip them, sometimes filling our time before the lectures by playing cards..at times there'll be others in the class doing their homework too..all these may not seem extraodinary or out of the mundane, but somehow the memory is just so impactful..perhaps its the reliving the feeling of spending time so freely with my friends..like yk, yh, mavis...being together for the purpose of passing time..something almost impossible now, with everyone having their own busy lives to handle..meeting up is already a blessing..

i really really miss those days..

and the recent influx of odacians posting past odac photos on facebook simply resulted in all my odac memories rushing back to me..and again, it was just too overwhelming..the feeling of wanting to experience all of it all over again..is that nostalgia? from our expeditions, taking long bus journeys together, sleeping in tents together, kayaking & sports climbing together..to our PT sessions in school, dinners after sessions..i just miss EVERYTHING! argh..

recently, it feels as though alot happened in my life..i guess its mainly cos of rspid recruitment..but when responsibility has been thrust onto your shoulders when you're hardly prepared for it, you're just forced to grow up and rise up to the occasion..i still don't feel confident of being decisive and rational, and i feel demoralized by that..i'll learn i guess..but i'm still really really glad i have the rest of the RSPID family to rely on..i feel blessed to have known this genuine and kind-hearted group of people...i'll never regret joining rspid..even if it has greatly compromised on my time to do other things..seeing the little adorable antics of our trainees week after week is just enough to make my week! :)

on a separate note, how much should one give to a friendship? when it hurts you over and over again, what should you do? is nonchalance really the best way out? but it's not so easy to remain nonchalant in the first place..did it really have to be this way? i don't know..what else can i do anyway?

i shall be random here and post a picture of my beloved rainbow and sunshine for all of you who miss them! hehe

"Don 't hurry. Don't worry. You're only here for a short visit. So don't forget to stop and smell the flowers along the way."

-Walter Hagen

sigh if i didn't take up that stupid job my life would be so much happier and stress-free now! its really very emotionally- and mentally-tolling!! argh..i hate them!!! can't wait to break off all forms of contact with them!!

i feel worried EVERY SINGE DAY and the feeling sucks!! i cant focus on wad i'm supposed to do properly..like rspid and the upcoming project id which is in like 4 days only!!

oh ya all of my friends, please come down to support k! this sunday, 20th july, junction 8 open plaza..support the intellectually disabled!! :)

warghh i should practise yoga or sth to calm my shaken nerves.. -meditates-

on a happier note, i'm meeting my best friends for dinner tonight!! that always makes me feel better, safe, and assured that everything will be alright ultimately.. :)

the friends we keep

i'm reading this book called 'the friends we keep' by holly chamberlin and i realised i really enjoy such books..revolving around friendship and a little of love too..somehow i just got glued to it since the first page, and this hardly happens to me when it comes to books..i usually need a little determination and perseverance to get past the first few pages especially if i got other stuff to do..

i feel this book's very similar to another book i read, and loved, 'between friends' by debbie macomber..it revolved around 2 childhood friends, who grew up and never lost their habbit of writing letters to each other even as they grew old, got married etc..likewise 'the friends we keep' revolves around 3 college friends who grew up, lost contact, and regained contact again after twenty years..and the entire book is presented in a diary format, with each character's alternating diary entries taking up subsequent chapters..

i like the way both books delved into the fine, intricate feelings and thoughts by very ordinary people, making it very easy to relate to what the characters are feeling and why they act the way they do..

haha anyway, the point of this blog entry is to share 3 quotes i came across so far while reading the book, which i feel are very wise! they present facts so obvious which make me ashamed that i didn't realise them earlier..so here goes!

"Apologies arise when there's a sense of accountability. To say, "I'm sorry" to someone--for a deed more significant than an accidental bump on the elbow--implies that there's been some significant interaction. It implies that you reconize a relationship and respect it An apology arises from a social contract; a rule has been broken and an apology is an attempt to fix it. It's also an act of recommitment to the relationship"

"The truest words ever spoken: Youth is wasted on the young" (this is the quote which particularly had a deep impact on me..coming from the adult character's point of view, i can so easily relate to it cos i can somewhat understand where she's coming from..we just dont know how to cherish a certain stage of our life until its over..but i still do think im a youth myself right? but even as i reflect on this, i'm not sure how else i am supposed to live my life to not 'waste' this youth..i guess the only way to evaluate this is after we've passed our youth, when we'll then start to feel regret for not having done this or that? but right now, we'll never know what we'll regret we never have done..and by the time we realize, it'll almost always be too late..that's the harshness of life i guess)

"Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose."


yup that's it for now! just some food for thought..

“One day at a time--this is enough. Do not look back and grieve over the past for it is gone; and do not be troubled about the future, for it has not yet come. Live in the present, and make it so beautiful it will be worth remembering.”

does time seem to fly even faster as we get older and have more responsibilities thrust at one go upon our shoulders? i thought 2 years in JC was far too short, but still i managed to at least to hold on to quite a few sweet memories, and built a few wonderful friendships..uni seems to have whizzed by even faster now..what would it be like when we finally enter the workforce in 2 years time? would we be reduced to tired workers lamenting their mundane job day after day, or dynamic individuals seeking challenges to push our limits, yet taking precious time off to slow down once in while & enjoy the beauty of life as it is? ok the second one sounds much too ideal..hmm..but actually, not much point thinking about all these now..when the time comes, we just face it in the most natural way..we'll see how it goes then!

been very contented with my life..i've got everything i wanted, even things i didn't expect to get..i think its important to feel lucky & blessed, isn't it? what's the point of chasing things, wanting to achieve goals and let your happiness revolve around the achievement of such goals, which are sometimes unattainable? i think our basic contentment should be having a happy family, true friendship and good health..everything above these should simply be considered a bonus..that's how i stay happy at least..

a little apprehensive about the challenges coming my way..but my resolution this year was to face all challenges bravely..instead of my usual 'be a better person', 'cherish what's important to me'..which shouldn't even be yearly resolutions..they should be daily principles we live by...but yup, so i will not shy away from stress, difficultly and sometimes, disappointment in myself..i will be strong and hardworking! :)

speaking about staying strong, i really wanna thank you dear for supporting me, staying by my side these 2 years..i know i can get quite unreasonable, but u've tolerated it all..thanks for being so understanding when i'm busy with my school work, for offering to help in whatever way you can just to take the load off my shoulders..thanks for putting in so much effort to make me happy always..especially that night..doing things u usually wont..i was really really touched..looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you :)

tioman trip photolog

just came back from tioman 2 days ago! really really enjoyed myself..still wish kez could have gone! (i'm not trying to make u jealous dear i genuinely wish u were there to experience wadever i did!!) but i'm glad i didn't feel out of place with a group of guys..mainly cos they're all very nice people! apart from the fact that they do weird things together (like stacking on top of each other on the bed) at night..but i guess hanging out with vips, zk, anyi they all has kinda immuned me to all these.. (haha!)

i never thought i'd enjoy myself so much! that i'm still reminiscing about the trip now..initially i felt a bit sian cos kez wasnt going and the whole morning on fri i kept on wishing and wishing she was with me! then i kept thinking that this trip would be so wasted cos im just going for the sake of going..that i didn't feel excited about it at all..but im glad that sianness soon passed once i reached tioman itself! cos the beautiful scenery cheered me up! :) hehe

i shall recount briefly how the whole trip went! just for memory-sake..

day 1 (fri, 23rd may):
5.15am: woke up
6.00am: left house and daddy drove zk and me to woodlands mrt :)
6.15am: met the rest of them and set off promptly for the bus interchange


6.30am: boarded the public bus to woodlands checkpoint -- i didnt know they have this high-tech passport scanning system now! its electronic & automatic and even has a biometric fingerprint sensor! but it seemed initially that technology was more of a hindrance than a help cos we took so long trying to scan our passports over and over again before the gate would open

(haha i can't remember the exact times anymore)

then we took another bus to the msian checkpoint and from there, took 170 into larkin..we had booked a coach (for only RM8.80!) to take us to mersing from there..the bus was scheduled to leave at 8.30..we reached damn early at 7.30 and decided to have breakfast at the coffeeshop there! there was like sooo much touting going on..people everywhere asking where your destination was so that they could provide the transport there for you..

the bus journey to mersing took around 2 hrs..so we reached mersing at 10.45..we immediately went to book a ferry (RM70 for two-way) to tioman..it was so rushed! we booked the ferry which left at 11.00am! we paid RM5 or 10 for some marine park conservation fee then boarded the ferry! poor zk was having runny nose cos of the aircon in the bus and was feeling terrible throughout the ferry ride!



the ferry journey was around 1 and a half hrs..so we reached tioman at around 1pm! we proceeded to check in at paya beach resort which we booked online beforehand (RM40 per person, 1 room with 4 beds!)

then we walked to a small stall nearby and had our lunch! the food there was not bad..zk and i had hor fun while the rest had fried rice..prices around the same as in spore..but it was really hot..and we learnt that power supply there gets cut off sometimes..and for a while the fan stopped working! *sweatsss*

after lunch, we went to rent snorkelling equipment (mask + life jacket) for only RM8! and set off from the beach by our resort to a nearby island..it felt really nice and relaxing..we'll just float on our life jackets and look down into the water and see fishes swimming below and around us! we spotted sword fish too! we then settled down on the patch of sand near that small island..and the guys started goofing around..trying to do handstands on the sand, throwing each other into the water..i so wished i had my camera around to capture those precious moments..it seemed so carefree..watching the silhouettes of them playing, laughing against the sun rays casting a golden glow upon the water and sand around us..i just wished that moment would last forever..

after being the first to bathe, i walked back to the beach, eager to snap lotsa photos of the setting sun..i think what's really beautiful about the sunset there is that you can really watch the sun disappearing beyond the horizon..and how its reflection forms an orange, shimmering strip across the sea..we hardly ever see that in singapore..

as we walked to dinner, we passed by the jetty..this next picture reminds me of what prissy was looking for to put in her blog template! just that the colours are probably not intense enough haha..and what intrigued me was how the sky retained its gradient of colour long after the sun had set..

we had ramly burgers for dinner! they're much better than those sold at the pasar malams in singapore..at least not so much mayo which i dont like! and they have a special name for the burger, called special burger, where they wrap the chicken/beef patty in a fried egg! haha and this name is like used throughout tioman! quite cute..the guys played bridge while waiting to be served!

went to the bar at our resort after dinner..few of them drank one bottle of beer..just for fun..i tried a sip and it tasted REALLY HORRIBLE! really dunno how my daddy can ENJOY drinking beer..they screened this movie called stealth on a makeshift screen using sparsticks & a whilte cloth..sth bout using AI to run military planes..i was damn bored cos i couldnt understand it at all but the guys, especially SH, seemed so interested in it! i ended up looking at the stars above haha..shared a bottle of alcoholic peach drink with zk..which everyone said just tasted like peach juice..haha! but i like..realised i don really like alcohol..or get any sense of enjoyment from it! after that we went back to our rooms and played citadel! its a strategy game where everyone is competing to gain gold and build various buildings..i think im quite good at it! :p hehe even though its far too mentally challenging for me..cos im quite bad at strategizing..most of the time i just use luck..and the guys all seem to know how to strategize! stressful!

went to sleep after that..the double decker beds are really quite dangerous..they have no railings at all! i had to rely on tucking myself under the blanket to assure myself that i wont roll of..but i dont usually move around when i sleep too la..shot of zk before sleeping! :)

i shared a room with zk, sh and his dad..and we all overslept! we were supposed to get ready and meet the rest at 6.50 but ended up being woken up at 6.50 by alfred! hahaha..we then went our complimentary buffet breakfast at the dining area..it was a simple spread of nasi lemak and western breakfast (like scrambled egg, french toast, potato, sausage) but it was yummy! there was even a chef there to whip up omelettes of our choice (we could choose to add ingredients like cheese, ham, mushroom, onion etc)!

being recharged after such a sumptuous breakfast, we packed our stuff and set off on our unexpectedly long trek to tekek village in a bid to find accomodation for our second night! cant believe SH said it was around 1 km! we ended up walking for 4hrs!! that's like 5km?? haha..

but it was an eventful journey! along the way we chanced upon a small herd of cows just grazing among the bushes..when i got closer to take a picture of them, they started running away! along the beach on the sand! it was a really cute sight..seeing them run as a group, and it was my first time seeing cows on the beach

the first part of the journey involved trekking through the jungle and quite a bit of climbing and descent..kinda reminded me of our odac expeditions..

we emerged from the forest to find ourselves at a very pretty beach, where we stopped to take many many pictures! the waters were really really clear..and i was all sweaty from the climbing that i felt so tempted to just jump into the water! we attempted the cliche jumping shots and seeing zk's pose really amuses me!

after walking for like what seemed forever to me, we finally managed to find accomodation at this place called monte chalet! at a very reasonable price too..Rm230 for 7 people..but we only had 2 rooms..one with 1 queen-sized bed, and another with 2 queen-sized bed + one additional mattress on the floor...and guess where i ended up sleeping! on the mattress on the floor! what gentlemanly guys i went with hahahaha :p but i volunteered to also la..cos what will zk's friends think if we share one bed! even though they kept instigating us to..i was really satisfied with the room! cos it was clean, air-conditioned and carpeted! it had an attached bathroom too which i was really delighted to find cos at first i thought it'd be a communal toilet or sth..but to my horror there were like 4 big cockroaches (3 dead though) in the toilet! eeks!

the bed jiashun and zk shared + the mattress i slept on:

we then went for lunch at this chinese seafood sarang restaurant which the chalet owner recommended to us..they must be friends! the owner then helped us get a deal with his friends who drive a boat for us to go out snorkelling! it was RM50 per person, inclusive of snorkelling equipment, and the boat would take us to 5 different snorkelling locations! the boat went REALLY fast and initially i felt quite scared! cos the waters were quite choppy and boat would go bang bang bang on the water and parts of the jouney were extrememly jerky and bumpy! but after a while i found myself awed by the high speed with which we were travelling across the water..this is quite random but i started to appreciate technology and how the human invention of boats with motors to race across waters was really amazing! i looked down on the sea beside me and watched the water below speed past so fast that i couldnt even look at any one point in particular..the wind was really strong too so all of us could hardly open our eyes too!

our first destination was coral island..where the current was really really strong..and swimming back to the boat was a total chore! no matter how much i paddled, i seemed to remain on the same spot! and i couldnt stop even if i was tired cos the current would just pull me even further away from the boat and i would just have to swim more later!

the next stop was some rocks near coral island..there were many more fishes there..ooh i must mention that one of the most common fishes there is this rainbow coloured one! i couldnt take a picture of it cos none of us had an underwater camera..i wish i could draw it out! they're really pretty! so back to my point, we started attempting to touch the fishes! they were in such close proximity that the whole experience was simply breathtaking..initially i thought i'd be scared by the thought of fishes (cold, slimy) just beside me..but once i saw them, i just wanted to touch them and be friends with them! and you don't get scared of them cos they're the ones scared of you..its almost impossible to touch them..they just manouvre away in time..then alfred made this funny discovery! he realized the fish were attracted to these stalks of leaves floating around..so each of us ended up with a stalk in our hands, just to get the fishes to swim closer to us so we could touch them! but the fishes seemed to get smarter and were no longer attracted to the leaves after a while haha..

then we went to salang village as a resting stop where i picked some seashells! they dont have very nice or big ones there too..comparable to singapore..and we posed for some pictures too!

after that we proceeded to monkey bay where we were simply intrigued by the amount of fishes we could see just from above the water surface! think they're too used to tourists feeding them bread that they just flock to approaching boats immediately..the boatmen bought bread for us to feed the fish..at first i was a little apprehensive cos i was afraid the fish would bite..but after assurance from all the more adventurous guys (who were already trying to CATCH the fish with their hands, to no avail though), i dared to let the fish eat the bread off my fingers! they were really cute! they'll try as far as possible not to actually touch your hand, but you'll still be able to feel them pecking against ur finger..

our next stop was marine park..where the fishes there were also visible from above the water surface, only that the fishes this time were much bigger! this time, i was a little more afraid and didn't really dare touch the fish..i simply swimmed among them and imagined what my photos would be like if only i could take pictures underwater hehe..

lastly, we went to ringgis island..we were all a little tired by then..so we just lay down on a floating wooden platform nearby..the guys started playing stupid games like pushing each other off the platform haha..we decided to continue snorkelling after that and i spotted a sting ray!! but so sad none of them saw it in time..then later i spotted sucker fish! are they called that? at first i was wondering how come this small fish kept swimming around and beside this larger fish..then later i realized it was eating off the body of the larger fish! i watched a documentary before that these fish are very useful! and help to eat the bacteria off the other fishes i think..then later another sucker fish joined his friend to nibble off the larger fish! who seemed nonchalant to these two fishes swimming around it..so cute..

after we got back, i was the first to bathe again..and after that i tried to capture pictures of the sunset again..but i was a little late and the sun had set..though the clouds were still pretty and orange..and strips of orange reflected of the sea..as i stood there alone, admiring the ebbing waves and pretty sky, i was filled with a deep sense of tranquility..and again, that would be a moment, a scene that i would always remember..

on our way to dinner..most of the locals get around on motorcycles..so even when taking this photo, there were so many of them scooting past us..that it got a bit irritating at times..even while walking we frequently had to make way for passing motorcycles..and im not sure if the people there need licenses to ride one..cos we see even kids from age 12 (??) riding their sibilings around!

after dinner the guys played the mini mahjong i brought..and i went to sleep! i was really tired and i have not much interest in mahjong anyway haha..and dont ask me what they were doing in the other photo

we were all pretty shagged and woke up at around 8 the next day only..had ramly burgers for breakfast again haha! they seem to have ramly burgers EVERYWHERE! i bought 2 small souvenirs made of seashells just to add to the display in my house haha..the guys went back and played soccer for a while while i slept! hehe..was really sleepy! then it started drizzling and we quickly made our way to the jetty which was around 300m away..we were very lucky cos after we reached the jetty it started pouring! the ferry was supposed to come at 12 but we ended up waiting till 1! the ferry was cool though..had karaoke videos being screened..and they screened white chicks later on too..

after we reached mersing, we walked to the town area..but sadly, most of the shops were closed cos it was a sunday..so we settled for eating kfc..its relatively cheaper there! our bus left mersing for larkin punctually at 5.30pm!

after getting through the msian checkpoint, it was really quite impossible to board any bus there! it was soooo crowded! so we just decided to walk across the causeway! it was my first time though..but it wasn't as far as i expected! :) our wondeful trip ended with dinner at the coffeeshop near the woodlands checkpoint!

okie that's the end!!

hahah omg this must be the longest and most tedious entry i have written! i wonder if anyone is really gonna read every word from the beginning to the end! haha..

on another note, i passed my basic theory test!! :D was soo scared i'd fail cos i was so unsure of so many answers!! but more on our whole silly experience the next time! hehe

the rainbow connection

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they're wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered
when wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that
and someone believed it,
and look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers and me.

All of us under its spell,
we know that it's probably magic....

Have you been half asleep
and have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it.
It's something that I'm supposed to be.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
the lovers, the dreamers and me.
La, la la, La, la la la, La Laa, la la, La, La la laaaaaaa

the recent spate of natural disasters simply reflect how fragile life is..it can be snatched away from us without any warning, without any time for those around to make emotional preparations..made me wanna cherish what i have now even more..staying alive is already a blessing on its own..being able to experience the wonders of this world..living an intelligent life as a human..making friends, learning, loving, feeling, enjoying nature's beauty all around us..from a simple flower to the beautiful skies..

was reading the newspapers..articles filled with devastation and grief..and the next page i flipped..was one of 7 bombs going off in 12 minutes..why can't humans just enjoy their lives as it is, with whatever wealth they have or lack thereof..are they really out to destroy one another? it reminds me of 'monster' when johan wanted to create this tragedy which starts off with just one person serial killing, but whose identity isn't known..then people start to get overly suspicious of another, speculating if their next door neighbour could just be the one..and soon, violence, insecurity and fear overwhelm them and they, too, start to kill anyone who is just slightly suspicious..and eventually, such killing becomes more of a habit and they become numb and void of emotions..and the whole town ends up destroying itself with dead bodies scattered everywhere..

why do humans want to take away the lives of fellow human beings? what right do they have?

and may all those who have left in these disasters rest in peace...

forrest gump

hehe pro me added music to my blog all by myself! yk are you proud of me??? :p

anyway, if anyone is interested, the song is forrest gump by jeffrey michael, who's a damn talented pianist who composes his own songs as well as gives his own touch to other already established ones..will probably switch between his songs for my blog..just that some of that can really evoke emotions..and i dont wanna make reading my blog too depressing! so i chose one of my favourites, a happier-sounding one at the same time, to accompany your reading! :)

been thinking quite a lot lately..about things i thought i wouldnt think about anymore..it made me realize quite a bit...

that emotions, however strong, only result from specific, ephemeral thoughts of that moment..once these thoughts change, our emotions simply move along with them..

that i should stop finding excuses for myself..that i should put down my pride and admit that i'm wrong when i'm at fault..that i should accept my own flaws instead of running away from them, and then thinking how i can overcome such flaws..

that it doesn't serve any purpose to bear grudges, that they only serve to wear one down emotionally

that resolution is always good, but never always possible

that i realized my mistake, and i have no one else to blame for what happened but myself

that i wish we could all be happy together again

that i should cherish the people, the moments in my life, and not let it just be a resoluion but a principle which guides my every action

that....

memories can be so sweet they hurt

exams are OVERR! :D

and i got a new blog design!! :D courtesy of yk..but i contributed too! haha...she came to my hall for a sleepover and we ended up working on my blog after looking at her hall "chalet" (still dont understand why its a chalet :p) photos..simple but it was a happy night..the next day we decided to go bugis street on impulse! and had to take turns to lug her heavy laptop...cos we wanted to shop and i've never been there before also..i bought a dress in the end! but only when we were about to leave..though my mummy said it looks like pyjamas! :( but i still think its nice anyway! haha even though i really dunno when i'll actually have the occasion to wear it..also realized the stuff at bugis street doesn't really suit me either..they're too hip! haha.i'm still more comfortable in my normal, ordinary clothes like tshirts and shorts..haha omg wad a superficial start to my entry..

hmm shall upload the most recent photos taken with my camera then!


us at marche for binbin's 20th birthday dinner! yz's not inside cos she's the one taking the photo! :(


haha so i shall upload a photo with just you inside :p wanted to upload another one with you and kwa but you unglamly revealed ur double chin (!) haha! and i tot u'd kill me if i put it here :p


post-exam mini celebration for bin again since poor her had her birthday between 2 papers! went to ben and jerry's after watching definitely, maybe (i liked it!) where steph and shy min joined us :)


bin looking so thrilled and cute as we sang a birthday song for her! hehe


making her birthday wish


hehe i just used this photo-editing webbie that steph recommended to me! picnik.com..its really very cool..you can edit the texture, colour, brightness etc...and what i like most is the numerous cute prints they have that we can put into our photos! like the ladybug above! and they have cool fonts for almost any type of theme..and its super user friendly..yup! :)


i took this photo through the window of my living room..the sight was so tranquil and serene it looked abit too surreal..especially the clouds floating above..


we went to west coast park again! but we were a little too late and the sun had set by the time we ran to the breakwaters..but the sky was still beautiful..i just love skies with a gradient of colours..from blue to orange to pink..so i ended up snapping so many repetitive photos..




ooh i spotted these 2 clouds! dont you think the first one looks like a baby camel with poo coming out from its back! and the second one reminds me of some roman warrior oh his horse or sth..sth like asterix..haha..




kez, wei, pris and i went kboxing! but stupid kez SOOOOO paiseh la!! dont even dare sing at all! think the whole 4 hrs plus she only sang like 3 songs at max, and not even into the mike! but happyyy! :)


hahhaa this photo is so hilarious! prissy was acting shy and didnt wanna let me take photos of her and she decided to cover her head in her shawl! goodness! now she looks so drama!!!


decided to go back to hall to stay over for one last night..before we returned our keys the next day..the girl with the sexy legs is jingxiu my roomie! (haha really love the picnik.com!) hmm when i left my room and switched off the lights and knew i was never gonna step back i felt this deep sense of nostalgia hit me..and realized how much i'll miss everything about staying in hall..from meeting kez and wei at our stairs to rushing for the morning buses, to coming back together, having dinners together..to returning to a room with jx inside..being able to whine to her about my day..mug together with all of them..even though in total it was only a few months it really created lotsa sweet memories for me to look back upon next time.. :)




haha jingxiu sucks at indian poker!! she keeps getting cheated so easily! so gullible lor! :p hehe..we bought blue shark as a forfeit..wanted to buy some alcoholic drink like beer but we had no guts..if the 7eleven staff replayed their in-store cctv or sth they'd be laughing at us la! we took the beer out den put it back again and kept repeating such stupid actions! in the end we settled for blue shark..brother of red bull?? its an energy drink but its SUPER SWEET! and jx had to keep drinking it haha!

lastly, a photo of our pretty hall :)