heartache

this morning while walking to the bus stop i saw a flattened, furry mass on the road. through half-squinted eyes i tried to make out what it could be. my first guess was a mynah, as i see them as victims of road accidents the most. but it was furry, and so 'squirrel' crossed my mind as i once saw a dead squirrel on the same road before. it was almost indistinguishable, and i was constrained by the flickering green man and also my fear/heartpain of staring longer, but i saw a distinct tail & tortoise-shell furry coat and i knew it was a cat.

maybe i am generally more alert towards observing objects lying on the road, i tend to see the tragic fates of many innocent animals. and each time, i feel such a heartache that i have to force my thoughts to not linger on what i saw in order to prevent myself from crying.

i can't help but try to re-enact the accident scene in my mind. did the animal just start crossing the road, or did it almost reach the other side and nearly escape death? was it aware of the danger of the swiftly speeding cars? did it feel fear while crossing the road or did it attempt to cross naively? i just hope it died an instant death, no matter what. i can't bear to imagine what it must have felt if it was seriously injured and in pain the first time it was knocked, and incapable of moving itself to escape subsequent vehicles. it would have been so scared, so defenseless.

what pains me the most is the indignity that they have to suffer in death. the moment a human gets knocked down, the police cordorns off the whole area- for investigation, for prospective insurance claims, for prosecution. when the victim is a poor, defenseless animal, its carcass is left there to get run over again and again, by unsuspecting vehicles whose drivers couldn't care less. nobody stops for a moment to move its body to the side of the road, nor grieve for its untimely death. it becomes an unrecognizable, volumeness mass, with a non-existent bone structure.

it's yet another instance when animals are harmed due to the actions & creations of humans....

rest in peace, poor little cat...