to my dearest little rainbow...

in 2003 you flew into charl's house
i thought you were a baby parrot
and was delighted when mummy and daddy agreed to let me take you home
we brought you to the bird shop and were told you were a lovebird

i gave you your name rainbow
and after a year or so, we knew your gender
cos you started laying eggs!

you were always adorable, always
with that fluffy, chubby cheeks of yours
i always told you you looked like a cute little soft toy..

you were there all through the years..
through my secondary school years
jc years..
and you almost saw me through my entire uni life..

and then we bought sun to join you so that you wouldn't be alone
you two fought at times, which worried us..
but seeing both of you help preen each other's feathers,
seeing both of you locking beaks always brought a smile to our faces
i wonder how sunsun will be without you,
though she's really naughty at times..

you were such a joy to have around..
i was never really alone at home because of sunsun and you
ever-ready to peer out at me from your little hole
or open your box and stand at the edge for me to have a better view of you
and trying to get my attention by reaching high up to place your beak at the top of the cage whenever i play with sun..

your super adorable face will always stay in my heart..
you were mischievous at times..
trying to bite me after letting me stroke your beak..
but you were always cute and loveable...

it pains me that you're not there anymore
it's difficult to go back to a home without you,
always eager to play with me whenever i went behind to the kitchen..

it pains me that just a few days ago you were perfectly alright

it pains me that you seemed to leave in pain,
that you seemed to be injured
and yet i could do nothing to ease your pain

it pains me that i didn't spend more time with you the night before
because i thought you were sleepy and dozing off

it pains me that you're there alone, where we buried you in your little box from which you peered out from

it pains me that we cannot protect you from the elements of nature anymore
i feel scared when it rains..because you're alone..

i can't accept the fact that my little bow is not at her familiar corner anymore
the corner which seems like such a huge empty space now..

sometimes i seem to forget the fact that you're gone...
and when reality sinks it in between ephemeral moments of distraction,
it really hurts..and the tears just start flowing..

i wish it was all a dream
i wish the vet did not open so late
sorry bow, that we could not ease your pain and suffering..

i'm only glad that mummy and i were there for you in your last moments..
you were important to each and everyone of us in the family..
mummy took urgent leave so we could bring you to the vet..
daddy rushed home after getting to the office when i told him the news, when he's usually reluctant to take even a day's leave..
i'm glad you left with mummy and i stroking you, and knowing that we loved you..alot..

i always envisioned myself having a dog when i was older..
i always wanted one..
but i'm not so sure anymore..
it's really heartbreaking when they leave
the sadness is overwhelming..

bow, i don't know what to do to stop feeling sad..
i miss you so much..
i just wanted to let you know that you're the best bird in the world..
the most adorable, intelligent, loveable and loyal friend..
you were such a big part of our lives
you meant so much to mummy, daddy and me..
you'll always always stay in our hearts..
i hope you're in a better place now bow..

rest in peace, my little bowbow..
i love you

(hmm i wanna post photos of her..but i guess it's too heartbreaking to look through photos of her right now..i'll do it when i'm ready!)