forgiveness is giving up all hope of a better past

HAPPY BIRTHDAY YUKIT!! eh sorry YU KIT
haha see i remembered the space in your name! :D


if only everything now could be as simple and innocent as they were in the past..
i would never grow up then..
is that good or bad?

wouldnt it be nice if the happy moments in our life could be recorded in some tangible form? then we'd be able to look back on them clearly, without having to search through our memory..as we get older, even the memories which were once so vivid and evoking start to fade and become vague and unclear..and the sweet, lingering feeling of happiness that comes with those memories starts to disappear too..

i hope i dont ever have to regret anything that i have done or will do..regret is really the worst feeling in the world to have..cos most of the time there's nothing we can do about it but let the feeling just fade away with time..i hope even more that when i look back on my past days of my life in future, there'll be no phase i'd particularly want to block out..cos it'll mean i didnt live my life the way i wanted to, according to my own principles and expectations..haiz but i know it's impossible to hope like this anyway..i'm not perfect..i'll definitely do things i know im not supposed to..things that let others and myself down..

i think as i grow older, even my principles change..i experience more things that change my perception of life, of people..i learn new ways of dealing with old problems..and sometimes, indifference is really the best policy..though i never used to like indifferent people, cos i didnt see the point in behaving coolly and coldly..it's sad that im becoming one myself..

that is why i really cant decide for myself if im doing the right things or not..but then, who knows what will happen next and who is to judge what is correct? i've learnt that human relations are the most unpredictable in this world..there's never one fixed, correct way to go about dealing with it..maybe i shouldnt be thinking so much in the first place..i cant help but think that thinking too much makes me a complex person..but i cant help it too..

i shall just take things one step at a time then..

shall go watch the last episode of my 7 o'clock show now! :)