forgiveness

"forgiveness is giving up all hope of having had a better past" -Anne Lamott

i dunno why, but this quote really struck me and resonated in me..i rarely chance upon quotes which allow me to understand myself better but this one really did..think it must have been fate that i saw it!

i was in this bookstore (think it's called page one or sth) in vivo and started flipping those self-help books..and this book was about being happy..and in this section about forgiveness the author quoted this quote above! and immediately it got to me..because i've always tried to tell myself to forgive, to make it less tiring for myself cos staying angry is tiring and to make it less agonizing for the other party..but somehow i don't practise what i preach to myself!

most of my arguments with zk revolve around this..sometimes i get upset when he's too busy to find me..and i'm upset by thinking of the wonderful moments i would have experienced should we have spent that time otherwise together, in other words, 'a better past'..

and so this quote really expressed my behavior and emotions succintly in a few words! and by understanding my motivations for or barriers to forgiveness better, i guess it is easier to forgive when you understand the root cause of your being upset better..

and since christmas is about love, while michael jackson was the greatest embodiment of forgiveness, my new year resolution will be to be more forgiving and less calculative! :)

and i changed mj's music away..i think it's still quite painful for me to hear him singing..and i still hope more of my friends will bother to find out more about him and understand why i'm so obsessed over him! haha..

this new song is an instrumental version of 'we all fall in love sometimes' by kevin kern..sounds melancholic i know..but i like these kinda songs! hehe