hehe decided to quote a very well-written entry, in my opinion, by my beloved yk! :) some thoughts that i truly agree with but couldn't have expressed better in words-
"Somehow it feels like as we grow older, we get more and more afraid of living. I don't mean that in a morbid way, (in fact, being more afraid of living necessitates a fear of death because it's the fear of hastening the inevitable that hence makes us afraid to use up our 'living allowance') but rather we (or I, if it's just me) saddle ourselves with more and more fears. It's not a conscious and willing process, yet it's a process that ultimately only we ourselves can prevent and perhaps reverse.
Fear comes from experience, which explains the lack of it when we are young, for we do not know the sense of defeat that comes from failure, the disappointment that results from dashed hopes. And so as we we get older and experience more, while there are both happy and unhappy experiences, more often than not it is the unhappy experiences that imprint themselves in our minds and hearts as a warning, as an instinctive measure of self-protection to shield ourselves from the repeat of such unhappy experiences again.
And so we pile on many different fears that we collect through our years of living - fear of disappointment, of regret, of failure, of rejection, even a fear of pity. Contrary to how happy memories and experiences can float you through a particularly difficult time, your personal collection of fears then determines the depth of the impenetrable pool of water that lies before you when you decide whether or not it's safe to jump in.
It's all in the mind, they say - and yet the fact that all these fears are 'in the mind' makes them all the more harder to eradicate, for they are not something tangible that you can simply take off or remove.
Perhaps the first step to freeing ourselves from the insidious accumulation of these fears is to acknowledge the existence of them. Only when you know that something exists then can you take steps to get rid of it right? Right, so let's start. I admit that my biggest fears include a fear of regret and of disappointment. And these do influence a lot of my decisions and interactions with people. At first sight of impending disappointment (not just my own disappointment, this includes disappointing other people as well) or possible regret, my instinctive response has always been to FASTER SIAM. Not quite the best way of dealing with things I must say, but I guess at least I understand why I sometimes react the way I do.
Hmmm...what are some of your fears and do you know how they affect you in the way you make decisions in life?"
hehe though the 'FASTER SIAM' was totally anti-climax :p i do feel that sometimes my fear of regret does really spur me to do certain things, which sometimes may or may not be desirable ultimately..but i guess i'm still young and my decisions have not been too majorly great to cause any huge detrimental consequences yet anyway..hehe
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