went to sentosa again today..thanks a lot to hulin, janice, wanying, kenny, jeffrey, heidi, azza, jinkai, ngoh, mina for coming down today! at such late notice too..we really appreciate it.. :) hope everything turns out fine next sat! and it MUSN'T rain!! (did i spell musnt correctly? somehow it looks unfamiliar to me..haha)
i was damn sleepy today..maybe not enough sleep but i came home and slept from 5 plus to 9! and im still feeling sleepy and my eyes are perpetually tired these days..i seriously think my astigmatism is worseing! ahh i dont wanna wear specs! let's just keep it this way..n the worst thing about me is that i'll be perfectly able to fall asleep tonight. i should have been born a pig instead right? :s
i realized i've been blogging every night for the past few nights! but it doesnt even feel so..maybe cos i din put much effort into writing la..my entries are very boring anyway..
i was thinking..is it irritating to read someone's blog when that person writes everything is vastly vague terms? you get some meaning out of it but you can never guess what exactly that person is talking about..im guilty of writing like this..aiya its my own blog la..so if i really do irritate anyone then so be it..though i was talking to dawn the other day (still haven seen you yet! but in my impression i keep feeling as if i met up with you during the hols leh..weird) and she was saying if u feel unhappy with anything or anyone, shouldnt you just talk it out with that person, rather than beat around the bush and b**** about it in your blog? i thought that was very true la..cos it has some form of hypocrisy in it i guess..am i being hypocritical?? i really hope not..i think its one of the scariest human trait that can exist..cos its the most dangerous and fake one too..but anyway i just felt that i might feel better by getting it off my chest, rather than go confront people, blow things up, and in the end things become awkward..and what good does that give anyone? only a tense situation and a strained friendship. so i guess its better to just keep things to myself sometimes..talking things out might not even change things ultimately cos i believe people are already treating one another the way they wanted to..if they change just because you told them to, wouldnt that be a little fake? and everyone becomes so conscious of their actions life becomes just so unnatural and unreal.
haha i like reading opinionated blogs, rather than those who merely recount their day's happenings (like mine)..they give me a better perspective on life and expose me to thoughts and concepts that narrow-minded me would never have thought of or about..and i learn more about life and how things work..
and i think i shall stop trying to find a purpose to my life..cos i dont think i'll ever understand it, as long as i dont turn to religion..so there'll never be an answer to that question for me..at least for now la..haha though i still enjoy reading those self-help guides teaching me to be happy! my life is rather satisfactory the way it is already..but i know an inherent flaw in me is to always want more when i get more..ok i guess its human nature..but i think that's not good! i always believe one should be contented with what he or she has..and the thing is, i always cant seem to be! so that's why im reading all these stuff, to teach me how to let go of the inessentials and focus on the essentials instead..its no use to keep telling myself to do it..my small little mind just wanders off and gets affected by minor trivialities and i soon forget everything i preached to myself to take note of..so now im just seeking a way to remember it..
i think having a direction in your life just makes everything seem more fulfilling..you see immediately what's essential and what's not..i still havent found this direction..maybe im too young i dont know..but its making me feel so empty and lost sometimes it just kills my mood.
had class lunch yesterday..freezing food court! anyway, take care, yuensau! snow white! i thought i heard him say he's going back in march! but i was reading mavis' blog and she said monday..haha so soon! n stupid vipul..i never knew my handshake was MACHO! haha!
anyway i've come to a conclusion. your true friends to whom your frienship really matters are those who are genuinely willing and wanting to listen to what you have to say..it might be a little warped..but its an obvious and clearcut way to answering your doubts about friendship..well at least to me..
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